Have you heard ’bout the horrible hate crime?
A TV star is beat up by two white guys
But the whole thing turns whack
When the white guys turn black
And YOU are racist for not buyin’
Views on the news, delivered so smooth.
This week’s inspired by the confusing story of Jussie Smollett as it continues to unspool. As it does, perhaps sober thinking about race is in order:
Racism and Underdetermination by Evidence
Click for last week’s edition.
And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon
Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below.
Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.
My choice of article is “Headline Rhymes” itself. If the purpose of Quillette is to wrest the arts back from the clutches of the postmodernists, who treat works of art as just frames only fit for displaying their bullshit theories, it means that the arts are important – their form and their content. Therefore, take no prisoners..
The lazy satirist skims the magazine,
to find the theme that sums the issue up.
2 minutes thought’s apparently too much:
the tossed-off lines conspicuously bland,
unfunny, badly rhyming, and unscanned.
If you’re going to critique my rhymes
I want a little more effort next time
If I only spent 2 minutes, I reckon
You must have spent 30 seconds
If my poems make you grumpy
Why don’t you pitch us something?
A lady called me racist; she told my boss on me,
I blame it on Obama that she got so uppity,
I simply was explaining what Jordan has to teach us,
But I guess she wanted equality of outcome in her pizzas.
I’ll pitch you my red pencil..
“If you’re bent on shitting in my bunk
you ought to leave more than that paltry snail.
My own 2 minutes straining might have stunk –
your 30 second fart’s a vapid fail.
If my poems (as I term them) rankle
why not fuck off, die, or break an ankle?”
It only took one reply
To reveal you’re THAT guy
🙂
I’m here to help!
@chris
Did you come to Quillette to show us on the right
how the left-wing people have all the intellectual might?
Your visit failed and you look like the ass of a horse
You were ugly, scatological, lowbrow, and coarse.
Your visit confirmed what we here already know:
the left has no ideas and is not an ‘equal-intellect’ foe.
You bain’t from round ‘ere..
For the sun, the moon and the stars,
for the saint, but not the adulterer,
when they call them “the horse’s arse”
what they mean is the ne plus ultra.
Those were the darkest two “white men” I’ve ever seen!
On ‘A Witch-Hunt On Instagram’:
There was a knitter from someplace deemed “white”
who said she was excited to take an exotic flight
She was swiftly trolled by the Totalitarian SJW Knitter’s Club
They scorched the crafty earth leaving no social-media shrub
They schooled and re-educated like good little Maoists
flaming yarn and knitting needles hoisted in their girly fists
Funny how these SJW crafters self-appoint as the Knitters’ Oppression Police
As they oppress, enslave, and exploit sheep; and daily steal their fleece.
A little-known actor from Chi-town
Has turned out to be the proverbial clown
Rapped his own neck in a noose
Hoping that it’d boost
A career, he did fear,
Had little to no juice
With an employer all ready
To cut the lad loose
I’m certain he’s praying it’ll all go away
That they’ll let him off easy cuz he’s black
Or he’s gay
But you don’t always gets what you want,
You don’t always get your own way
Although the DOJ seems bereft
If there’s any morality left
Jussie is going to pay
Re female students who drink to excess
What is this life if, full of drink
You have no time to stop and think?
If you are seeking, for two pins,
To blame another for your sins,
Walk a tightrope, risk it all
And blame another if you fall,
Where, with a Russell Conjugation
Your train won’t stop at any station
Disapproved by Twitter mob —
You’re safe. You’ll never lose your job
What is this life if, full of grace,
You just pour snake juice in your face
Until you lie face down in dirt
While random stranger lifts your skirt?
And then, and then, when all is wrecked
Are you entitled to RESPECT?
Jump to another headline
This starts trouble
A noble life of a feline
Starts to bubble
Clarity and focus are gone
The plot went missing
Curiouser it as a pawn
Death is kissing
Loves for an idol
Only one a lifetime of thoughts
They’re suicidal
We keep our distance as robots
It’s intertidal