Features, Language, News, Poetry, Satire

Headline Rhymes

A Thanksgiving prayer for mercy
As the family screamed, Jesus Murphy!

Drank quite enough
Told opponents: Get stuffed!

Then claimed you just meant the turkey

(Don’t be that political guy
Have a slice of humble pie…)

Views on the news, delivered so smooth. This week’s inspired by:

Our Tribes and Tribulations

Political Moderates Are Lying

Click for last week’s edition.

And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon

Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below. Please try for PG 13. 

Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.


  1. I’m going to massively raise the bar here, with a Heimlich (2 haikus == 1 limerick) on the 2 subjects, “Warning: Telling a Lame Joke in an Elevator can Endanger Your Career”, and “The Betrayal of Asia Bibi”.

    Honour was sullied –
    She used a bitter folk’s cup.
    He amused a lift.

    Neither wrong: two ways
    lead to the thong. (Hers ending:
    Asylum Refused.)

  2. Graham Verdon says

    I will take the veiled insult due to the quality of the submission. 😉 Excellent. Keep them coming.

  3. Sydney says

    Hi Graham and fellow punsters,

    I tried this material over in the Comments section of ‘Lame Joke,’ so I’ll see if it flies over here:

    Everyone’s seen London
    And everyone’s seen France
    And everyone (except the neo-Marxist/Stalinist/Maoist grievance workers)
    has now seen Simona Sharoni PhD’s underpants

    • Graham Verdon says

      I like it! I can’t award you a prize or anything. But beggars can’t be choosers, either. 😉

Comments are closed.