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Naked Yoga and Cuddle Parties: Lap Dancing Clubs for the Woke

My friend Eva, who has accompanied me to a buffet of odd events, is giving me her feedback on the people we’ve encountered there. “I don’t know what it is, but I’ve noticed that if there’s an event with nakedness, the majority of people who turn up will be older guys.”

As a journalist writing about weird workshops and unusual classes I’ve covered cuddle parties, rope-binding, naked yoga, and tantra, to name but a few. These classes are popular with the hipsters who are colonising Hackney Wick and other areas of East London in the throes of gentrification. And with each event I cover, I become more suspicious that these “alternative” workshops are simply a way for apparently progressive men to gawp at women—lap dancing clubs for the woke.

On the surface, these workshops are all above-board. After all, what could be creepy about a fully-clothed cuddle? Don’t we all need some affection? What could be impure about practising yoga as nature intended? Surely we could all benefit from taking part in such innocuous activities? But in reality, these workshops predominantly appeal to men who attend in the hope of touching women, staring at naked women, and—best case scenario—touching naked women.

These men are often older, usually single, left-leaning middle-class guys who sometimes sport a man-bun and a big, bushy beard—lubricated with artisan beard-oil—along with loose cotton trousers. They’re the kind of guys who performatively check their privilege, and who take it upon themselves to supervise the privilege-checking of others. They think of themselves as progressive or woke—most certainly nice. But these men are not that different to the guys who go to a strip club and pay £20 for women to grind their butts in their faces. It might seem like a stretch, but having carried out an undercover investigation into the lap dancing industry, I think the biggest difference is that paying for a lap dance is a more honest transaction.

In theory, the women who attend these workshops (or wokeshops, as I now think of them) want to be there as much as the men. Everyone’s bought a ticket, so nobody’s being exploited—it’s simply a mutual exchange, right? Not so fast. The fact is, the organisers of these events have to scrabble around to procure enough female attendees to make the men feel they’re getting their money’s worth. Several organisers admitted to me that the majority of interest is from men, and more than one confessed that the men always ask how many women will be attending—and won’t book unless they’re happy with the number of women they’ll have at their fingertips. Before one workshop, a desperate organiser sent me a string of emails asking if I’d bring along a female plus-one. “Before the event, the men always ask about the ratio and if I tell them that there are more men, then they won’t come,” she explained.

A woman who started training to become a “cuddle party facilitator” told me that her course instructor acknowledged privately that the guys who come to her class are really creepy. Emma—who decided to nip her new career path in the bud—recalls: “One of my tutor’s comments horrified me. She told me that a man had asked, ‘How are we going to divide up the women?’ It’s just gross. They are very sad men.”

‘Cuddle Party’ at an apartment in New York, USA, 27 August 2004

The organisers of the wokeshops I’ve attended have all been female, so they pimp themselves out, along with the women they’ve persuaded to attend, in order to bump up the ratio of women-to-men. The female contingent is then boosted further by the roping in of a female assistant, who is often resigned to viewing this as part of her apprenticeship, a hazing ritual that has to be endured if she’s going to enter the lucrative industry.

At the workshops I went to, the female assistant seemed to be unpaid, but given a “free” place in the wokeshop in exchange for keeping herself available to pair up with men—an intern with benefits. At one event, I asked the female assistant to pair up with me for an exercise and she awkwardly declined, mumbling something about having to wait and see who didn’t have a partner. In saying no, she ensured that we both remained available to the ticket-buying men we’d been promised to when they parted with their money.

Aside from the organisers and their assistants, there are of course women who’ve actually bought a ticket. But unlike the men who are often regulars, the women don’t necessarily go back once they’ve grasped that they’re woke-bro bait. A friend of mine told me: “I know two women who’ve been to a cuddle party and neither of them would ever go back because they both felt it was a bit gross. They’re not charity workers for needy people.”

The “exercises” vary from workshop to workshop. At a cuddle party, it might include having a hug, or a foot rub, or participating in a “puppy pile” which involves everyone lying in a heap on a mattress while wearing blindfolds. I asked one of the regulars at this event if he’d still come along if he got a girlfriend. He said: “No. Why would I?”

At the rope-binding workshop, we got into pairs to tie each other up in a variety of ways. The organiser described the practise as “geeky,” “brainy,” and “intellectual,” claiming, “There’s an element of connecting and having a conversation with another person through physical movement.” But for all the faux-intellectualising, rope-binding (aka Shibari) comes from sado-masochistic Japanese porn.

 

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I spoke to a 55-year-old guy taking this class who informed me he was a “Dom.” He’d come to learn how to suspend his “Sub” from the ceiling. Unfortunately, no woman was willing to pair with him. “I wanted to partner with that single woman,” he said, indicating a slim woman in her early 20s, “but she went with someone else.” Sounding quite annoyed about this, he told me he’d been forced to work with another guy. “It was a downer,” he explained. “I was bored.”

At the tantra workshop, the exercises included having our heads massaged by a mystery partner who approached us from behind; standing with our foreheads touching while breathing into each other’s faces; and sticking our thumbs into the “pressure points” in each other’s bottoms. “I’m used to more advanced classes where we don’t wear clothes—clothes just get in the way,” said one grizzled, 50-something participant. And so it emerged that this workshop was only “level one” on the sexy scale. At level two, participants take part topless or in underwear, and at level three it’s the Full Monty, where exercises include “a prostate massage, or an anal massage for women,” according to the organiser.

Speaking as someone with breasts, I can say with confidence that naked yoga is not a class designed for women. It is a class for men to pay a premium to ogle at a naked female instructor. After 90 minutes of nudity, the class climaxes in a pose called “Bird of Paradise” in which the instructor stands on one leg and holds her other leg in the air at a 180-degree angle. Eva, who came to this class with me, described the instructor as a “yoga stripper” and said: “There’s no difference between a naked yoga session and an exotic dancer spreading her legs apart—you can look but can’t touch!”

And it wasn’t just the instructor the men were looking at. According to Eva: “Some of the guys were definitely crotch-watching, and when three of them tried to talk to me afterwards, it felt like just because they’d seen me naked they thought they had an invitation to take it further.”

The instructor of the naked yoga class told me she usually has a ratio of 70:30 with men in the majority, while her clothed yoga classes tend to be 85:15 with women taking the most spaces. When I remarked on the contrast, she explained that men are “more confident and comfortable with their bodies.” But if men are into yoga, why don’t more of them do it clothed? “Ah, well, I don’t know,” she replied. “Maybe because they feel like, ‘I’m not flexible enough.’”

The organiser of the cuddle party told participants, “Arousal is okay as long as you don’t act on it,” and the naked yoga instructor assured men that if they got an erection, it wasn’t sexual, it was just the yoga. She explained: “When you do yoga you move loads of energy in your body and an erection can happen, so it’s not because you’re thinking about something sexual, it’s because of the energy in your body.”

In giving these pseudo-assurances, wokeshop organisers give men permission to become aroused and erect while touching or looking at women’s bodies. So having enabled the men to access women, the organisers then give them a green light to get horny. This seal of approval affords the men a clear conscience, allowing them to feel like nice guys while they’re perving over women half their age who’ve been manipulated into pairing up with them. And all the while they think they’re morally superior to the sort of men who “exploit” and “objectify” women by paying them to take their tops off in strip clubs.


Samantha Rea is a freelance journalist living in London. She can be found on Twitter  @
Samantha_J_Rea

185 Comments

  1. Andrew Elsey says

    I think it’s a fair assumption that there’s a strong correlation with the Creepy Liberal Feminist Guy phenomenon and erectile dysfunction, so that they can at least feign some modicum of innocence in their pretense at these classes.

    • Morgan Foster says

      @Andrew Elsey

      She lost me at man-buns and “guys who performatively check their privilege, and who take it upon themselves to supervise the privilege-checking of others”.

    • Duke says

      Cuddling? That’s what pets are for.
      Nakedness? That’s what showers are for.
      Liberals? That’s what psychiatrists are for.

    • Duke says

      Cuddling? That’s what pets are for.
      Nakedness? That’s what showers are for.
      Liberals? That’s what psychiatrists are for.
      Trump 20202 okay?

      • WHS says

        Yes. Him and those with him are one of the last lines of defence against these loathsome woke twats.

  2. Trimegistus says

    “Older” men. “Grizzled” men. “Sad” men. “Needy” men.
    Why can’t I escape the suspicion that the author was hoping for more hot guys at these events?

    • E. Olson says

      Trimegistus – I suspect your suspicion is very accurate (although if not hot looking at least being rich would suffice). I also suspect that the woke guys at these events are most often disappointed by the lack of hot chicks even as they spout PC nostrums about inner beauty being all that is important.

    • Scott M says

      She should know that the hot guys are all out doing toxically masculine things.

    • Jeremiah says

      Because you dont understand the context of the article.

  3. Felix says

    Great! A nice, refreshing break from the more philosophy-minded regular fare at Quilette but still quite pertinent. I loved the no-nonsense style and hope to see more such articles here in the future.

  4. Trimegistus says

    “Sad” men. “Grizzled” men. “Older” men. “Needy” men.

    I think the author was disappointed that there weren’t more hot guys.

    • Peter from Oz says

      Pretty boys, witty boys, too too too lazy to fight stagnation
      Haughty boys, naughty boys all we do is to pursue sensation
      The portals of society are always opened wide
      The world our eccentricity condones
      A note of quaint variety we’re certain to provide
      We dress in very decorative tones
      Faded boys jaded boys, womankind’s gift to a bulldog nation
      In order to distinguish us from less enlightened minds
      We all wear a green carnation

      Noel Coward knew about the silliness of letting camp get too normal. Our modern soy boys are the new version of camp.

    • bumble bee says

      Now if anyone used those terms to describe the women, boy oh boy would there be an uproar. I am also so sick and tired to the point exasperation with the idiotic and oxymoronic word “woke”. Like avocado toast, it is nothing but a millennial word meme that has ZERO bearing on anything. These people are not “woke” in the sense that they understand anything. Then they speak of privilege, when all they do is drip privilege and entitlement. Right now, I am at my end point with all this nonsense, as they are the worst group of imbeciles to ever come around. So next time they think they are just oh so special with crap like this here, remember those men are looking at you women through the same lens and sizing up every deficiency you possess. As a woman myself, I am ashamed at these children who were not brought up correctly.

  5. GRPalmer says

    Feminist Man has to be the greatest “woke” oxymoron for toxic male perverts with aspirations of getting off on gullible woke feminist women.

    Note that it is Feminist Left women who are more likely to attend and become their victims and not conservative women.

    Although I dare say conservative men are just as likely to attend, although incognito as a progressive feminist man.

    All in all, it sounds like a brilliant business plan.

  6. “After all, what could be creepy about a fully-clothed cuddle? Don’t we all need some affection? What could be impure about practising yoga as nature intended?”

    A cuddle only means anything if it comes from someone who likes you enough to want to take you in their arms. Going to a place specifically to be hugged by strangers is like going to a brothel. And ‘practising yoga as nature intended’? You could say the same about anything: ‘practising welding as nature intended’.

    “…in reality, these workshops predominantly appeal to men who attend in the hope of touching women, staring at naked women, and—best case scenario—touching naked women.”

    Well, yes. Why else would you go? If women are foolish enough to take off all their clothes in front of random men then they shouldn’t be surprised that there are some eager takers, especially among those who look forward to midnight, every New Years Eve, as the only time they ever get to kiss a woman.

    • Anonymous says

      @theunrecordedman

      ” Going to a place specifically to be hugged by strangers is like going to a brothel.”

      So then what did you think about THIS ?

      “at level three it’s the Full Monty, where exercises include, “a prostate massage, or an anal massage for women,” according to the organiser.”

    • Scott M says

      There’s one exception that comes to mind, though I’m not sure it rises to the level of a cuddle. In the military, it’s not unusual to rack out in close proximity for shared body warmth, to the extent that went someone gets up to go use the latrine (or behind a convenient tree, lol), the people around the spot he vacated start bitching if he takes too long because those sides of those bodies start getting cold. 🙂

      • CLA says

        @ScottM,

        I’ve always considered that soldiers “huddle” for warmth, not “cuddle” for warmth. A minor difference in perception, perhaps.

    • Asenath Waite says

      @theunrecordedman

      Some guys get to kiss a woman every new year’s eve?

      • So I’ve been told. Apparently it’s a thing to sing some traditional old Scottish song while standing hand in hand in a great big circle of people and when 12 O’clock strikes the hugging and kissing begins with the women trying to escape the ugly men and the ugly men trying to stop them escaping back to the bar.

  7. E. Olson says

    Very interesting article, which led me to think about some other parallels. Compare and contrast the following: what do they all have in common?

    Woke events working definition: programs organized and largely run by women that are almost entirely financially dependent on male funding, where said funding is almost entirely dependent on there being substantial participation by hopefully attractive and “friendly” women who are mostly paid to participate.

    Strip club / prostitution working definition: occupations organized around women that are almost entirely financially dependent on male funding, where said funding is entirely dependent on there being substantial participation by hopefully attractive and “friendly” women who are almost always paid to participate.

    Beer marketing working definition: advertisements/events organized around women that are entirely financially driven by the need for male purchases, where said purchases are almost entirely dependent on there being substantial participation by hopefully attractive and “friendly” women who are almost always paid to participate as advertisement models or via free drinks ladies nights promotions.

    Welfare working definition: programs organized around and largely run by women that are almost entirely financially dependent on male funding, where said funding is almost entirely dependent on there being government coercion to force males to pay.

    • Ray Andrews says

      @E. Olson

      “dependent on male funding … women who are almost always paid to participate.”

      I wonder how Equitron will look at these events. Will more women be ordered to pay and attend? Or will men be ordered not to attend? In any case, Equity must be achieved otherwise all such events must be forbidden. Also, the article mentions that these events are almost always organized by women and that they are ‘lucrative’, so if Equitron forbade them, this would Discriminate against women, which Equitron will never do. It’s too complicated for me.

  8. No Man Bun says

    Alternative title: Samantha discovers biology.

    Question: Be honest with us. The “creepy” factor for your male colleagues in these classes was reported in direct proportion to their level of youth and attractiveness, wasn’t it?

    Had they all been on the college men’s swim team, and worth close-up examinations themselves, would their ogling been instead described as “adorable” reminding you of floppy puppy dogs?

    Check your “I am an attractive potential mate” privilege at the door, please.

    • It is the seal and brand of the Anglo woman, to call “creepy” any guy who is not attractive/rich/smooth enough for them.

    • Denny Sinnoh says

      “Man Bun”???

      What … I thought …

      You mean those guys aren’t really ronin samurai?

    • D.B. Cooper says

      @No Man Bun

      After reading the article, I started scanning down the comments to see if I would fine a “dog bites man” -esque comment, and if I did, how far down would it be. I was almost 100% sure of the former, although it was a bit further down the chain than I originally anticipated.

      In any case, my sentiments of the article – and the author more generally – was comparable to yours in most respects, although the one thing I couldn’t really square was the indignation the author continually expressed with each new piece of reconfirming evidence that, yes, men do enjoy looking at naked women. It just struck me as odd that a female with her… phenotypic traits would be, not just ignorant, but utterly shocked to learn that for men, the ability to access carnal knowledge of young attractive women has a sum total value above zero – quite a bit north of zero, I would bet. Her reaction to this distaste fact (shock, bewilderment, disgust, among others), would lead you to think she sincerely thought otherwise.

      As far as I can tell, the only reasonable explanation for this level of niave realism is that the author was only feigning shock an awe, and therefore, she is a liar; or the poor woman’s an idiot. Her above average prose would not recommend the latter. In keeping with good form, I normally try not to question the integrity of individuals whose integrity I know nothing about. There’s a name for the type of unprincipled person who traffics in this level of bad faith incitement; they’re called progressives or feminists.

    • KiwiInOz says

      I would have been too self conscious to attend one of these events when I was young (and hot), but now that I am (just) over 50 I probably wouldn’t have any qualms about it.

  9. Farris says

    I read an article a few years back by an author who took a nude cruise. He said the vast majority of the participants were older men and the biggest complaint was about the lack of younger women.

    Of course one need not be concerned that any of these creepy old men would feign transgender for the purpose of entering female changing areas or bathrooms.

    • E. Olson says

      Farris – I’ll bet the cruise brochures feature pictures with lots of beautiful young women, and very few handsome men.

      You are correct that the transgender movement does give creepy old men a new option to the cataract and senility standbys as excuses for entering the “wrong” dressing room, but even more importantly opens the door literally and figuratively to creepy young men.

      • Farris says

        @E. Olson

        I have also read about a number of nude beaches in Australia being beset by perverts.

        • Denny Sinnoh says

          At the hot spring osen, everyone is naked.
          It doesn’t mean a thing.
          Bring the whole family.
          It’s public.

          • V. Rodrigues says

            Most onsen have separate areas for men and women, though.

          • dirk says

            @ Farris, Stephanie and Rick: I think, perverts abound where victorian and puritan rules are the norm. In puritan cultures, naked has been banned to the world of young and attractive sex, entertainment, movies and media spread the message. I once went out swimming in the biggest public swimming pool in Sofia, Bulgaria. Everyone naked, people there at the time didn’t even have swimming suits, I guess, why should you?. Nudist beach or swimming naked once were pleonasms, there was no alternative.
            Saunas in Germany, Austria,Scandinavia, same thing.

            OK, now that we live in that niche (the anglosaxon one, ruling the waves and the lands), naked yoga can sprout and become an object for a puritan writer to paraphrase on. Naked should be a nice and beautiful something, is the idea. It’s all but that. Though, there are few exceptions.

        • Stephanie says

          Yes, Farris, they are. I nearly went to one once, but the sight of the people there sent me running. Inevitably it is the least attractive people who like to hang out at those places.

          • Rick says

            You aren’t there to ogle other naked people, you’re there to soak and steam and get clean. If you can’t deal with a normal naked human body, it says everything about you and nothing about the other involved. Grow up. In the days before plumbing and running hot water, this would have been

            In Germany, saunas are entirely nude and mixed sex. (One day a week may be given to a women-only block of time, and occasionally a men-only block.) They are not sexual, that’s not why you’re there. If you can’t deal with all ages (children to the elderly), all body shapes/sizes, 1001 variations in body hair, nor with mastectomies, surgery scars, normal scars, old droopy tattoos, pierced bits and bobs, that’s your glaring insecurity.

          • Heike says

            We have a nudity taboo for a good reason: nobody wants to see all that. Yuck.

            And we note, once again, the oh-so-superior European lecturing the rest of us on how great they are and how the rest of us are immature jerks. Hey, how’s that defense spending coming? You carrying your fair share yet? No? Then why should anyone listen to anything you have to say?

  10. Jan de Jong says

    Ideology breeds hypocrisy, always. The more unnatural the ideology, the creepier the resulting hypocrisy.

  11. dirk says

    Quite possible that, in this time of #meToo , gymnastics (= literally naked exercises) and courses as described above, might become more popular (as are similar occasions as sauna, nudism beaches, massage, hot tubs). Important detail: it takes place in groups, not in dark private corners. Makes it much more innocent. But, of course, still a field for some women to warn for the sad, grizzled and older men (3rd time here). But I wonder, no women interested in looking at naked men (whether sad, grizzled, old, or young)? Or is the gaze the privilege of men only??

    • Alan Gore says

      Of course women like to look at naked men – young men.

  12. Farris says

    Would be willing to bet more male artists paint nudes than female artists.

    Note to women: Men think with their…. You have not found the guy who doesn’t. Men tend to run in packs and have plenty of friends. A guy who keeps you in the friend zone is either: 1. Gay 2. Not attracted to you 3. Attracted to your friend.
    One other secret when you go out with your husband he is hoping to draw the attractive waitress or sales girl.

    • dirk says

      @Farris: The female artists I know painting nudes (often themselves) always paint them in a rather unesthetic, often even disgusting way, why is this??

      • E. Olson says

        dirk – to answer your question change “one another” in the following quote to “themselves”.

        Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. – H.L. Mencken

        There are also several interesting elements of your observation. First, most portrait artists have expanded their business by flattering their subject’s appearance, but historically portrait artist clients have almost always been male. Second, an annoying aspect of women is that even if they are super model beautiful, they almost always have some aspect of their appearance that they absolutely hate. Third, men are almost always less annoyed by the appearance “flaws” in themselves or the women they ogle or try to entice.

  13. asdf says

    This isn’t news. It’s basically an article that says “I wish hotter men did the things I do.” Or “I wish I didn’t need to get paid by ugly men for my body.”

    Sure, we get it. It sucks to be undesirable, or not desired as much as one would like.

  14. As long as women are still the victim it’s all OK I suppose. I mean, women are organising these events and making money from them so they are obviously being exploited. Makes perfect sense.

  15. northernobserver says

    Every one of these new culture testimonials always ends up reinforcing my beliefs in traditional Christian anthropology. I mean it just makes the Torah look good.

  16. Rick says

    So, in sum, the author discovered that men like sex, and sex sells. Creepy, pervy, weird, old, lonely — how dare men that I disapprove of like naked female bodies! And young women at that? How unnatural! Don’t they know they only have the right to be attracted to overweight post-menopausal women? Someone should really call the police to sort them out. And goodness gracious, the crime of all crimes, an erection!? How dare a man do that!! (Though actually it’s true, sometimes erections happen when you’re not particularly aroused nor intending to use it. Not a lot you can do to stifle one if it pops up.)

    I’ve never been to one of these things, nor a strip club, and have no real interest. However, it is only the author’s unfounded (and broadly applied) opinion that these are ‘woke’ lefty men. And consider the level of sexual repression in Britain,

    If the goal of publishing this article was to ensure the author was seen as a stuck-up prude, good job.

    • Daniel V says

      The goal was to show the hypocricy of the men and women involved in the woke movement who won’t admit to what you’ve described.

    • Anonymous says

      “I’ve never been to one of these things, nor a strip club, and have no real interest.”

      I really hate the term “strip club”. It is not “Stripping” – it is nude dancing. “Stripping” is a kind of burlesque art popular in the early 20th century.

  17. Daniel V says

    I think it’s a bit misguided and ignorant to accuse the author of calling the men negative things because they weren’t hot enough. It’s making the error of thinking women function exactly like men. Very woke, but not reality.

    Women do not experience sexual arousal in the same way as men. A huge difference being visual stimulus isn’t even close to as important. You can look like a Greek God and still appear revolting to women if you’re a creep with bad intentions. They are looking for someone that will take care of them and their children. That will provide for their needs both materially and psychologically.

    The women running these woke shops are under the same delusion and fail to recognize men don’t handle arousal like women. They can’t just turn on a filter to not become aroused at the site of a 21 year old doing naked yoga and giving you a peek inside her. While they can control the actions that follow the arousal, they can’t stop the arousal from happening.

    It’s also interesting to see how we delude ourselves and use language to explain away our biological urges. Their name escapes me, but a great philosopher once explored how people going to pub are really there to mate regardless of the rationalizations they wrap it in to avoid recognizing the real motivation. No doubt if pressed the men attending there woke shops would vehemently deny it has anything to do with sex. In fact they’d argue seeing it as sexual is on the person raising the concern and they themselves are pure woke feminists who have evolved beyond their apeish impulses.

    • Rick says

      I’d agree that the women running these ‘wokeshops’ are a little deluded. The author certainly is by the sounds of it.

      But you’re glossing over the plain biological reality that mates like beauty/symmetry/fitness in other mates. This goes for men and women, and most sentient creatures. Women are perhaps not as ‘one-dimensionally’ visually aroused as men may be, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care for beauty. Just as in your analogy: young women wearing 1940s swimsuits and painting make-up on their faces to get drunk at clubs are not looking material and psychological security for their offspring.

      Like the author, you’re making pure and plain assumptions about these attendees and their motivations. I don’t so much want to defend them as point at the blatant strawmanning going on. Would they vehemently deny it has anything do with sexuality? Maybe to a smarmy, hostile female reporter, but I doubt that’s so in their private thoughts.

      Paying to see nudity or sexual arousal, well, so what? Men like sex, and we know we do, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. As you say, it’s how you act on it that makes the difference.

  18. The idea that its only men who enjoy strip clubs is both sexist and factually incorrect. I’ve been dragged into real Hackney strip clubs by women on several occasions. A friend of mine was a stripper in a lesbian bar in London – something she very much enjoyed.
    Everyone at these workshops, including the writer, appear to be prudes. ‘Woke’ seems to be the contemporary name for Victorian sex-negative attitudes to sex. Prudery has always been associated with the bizarre affectations exhibited by male attendees – simultaneously policing and transgressing.

    • Stephanie says

      C, women enjoy strip clubs for different reasons than men. Men are in it for the stimulation, women for a sense of power. It’s the cool thing these days to be a hypersexual woman who treats sex like a man does, and appear eager to consume sex while being above actually being paid to provide it. It’s a signal.

  19. Reader says

    lol why is this even a Quillete article. Saw another one that was like just 4 paragraphs long. The quality drop in your content has been quite drastic, I must say

  20. Supermartingale says

    Thanks for an entertaining article!

    As a fifty-something geezer, I’ve practised yoga for some time now— the clothed variety — and have never had an erection during practice. Probably something wrong with my energy flow? Must ask my yoga teacher about this.

    • dirk says

      But, super, was that the normal, or the naked yoga? Quite a difference, I think. If the naked one, I wonder what’s wrong with you! (in case, the women were young and attractive).

    • Weasels Ripped My Flesh says

      That’s certainly my take away from the article.

      Old men are gross and icky lecherous pervs who will pay money to stare at naked young women.

      Who knew!?

    • Contrarian says

      Even worse, how dare they be “Woke”?!!

      “Young women are the the slippery and dangerous coconut trees of lusty old men”, wrote Andre Maurois in An Art of Living.

      In the Pacific Islands they would force old men to climb a coconut tree; then they would shake the tree and the ones who did not fall earned the right to live.

      The ancient Chinese and Romans venerated their ancestors and elders; but they did practice infanticide. The smartest of them all, the Greeks, our illustrious cultural ancestors, were notorious for both infanticide and neglect of their old parents.

  21. Lightning Rose says

    Kind of obvious to me that Naked Yoga is part of the Cult of the Body current among “elite” wannabes: The body itself is the status symbol, and flaunting it the new social climbing. Why else the proliferation around town of spray-on tights that really only look good on Olympic contestants? Naked Yoga is merely the extreme edge of that trend. And while a few women may be exposing themselves to men’s eyes as part of the power-play of “safe” teasing, I’d bet the vast majority are there to invidiously rank their bodies as compared to those of fellow-yoginis. This can be interpreted also as personal insecurity, the need for validation of one’s appearance, or the “show you mine if you show me yours” body play of toddler children. In a word, infantile sexuality.
    The men there to ogle only kid themselves they’re higher-minded than the strip-club patrons across the tracks.

    As for “cuddle parties,” that’s rank infantilism, the race back to the “safety” of infancy.

    I think what we should be asking is why NORMAL, appropriate, ADULT sexuality seems to be so difficult to attain for so many that there is increasing resort to such infantile alternatives.

    • Etiamsi omnes says

      Pity that NORMAL, appropriate, ADULT sexuality is so hard to come by. It sounds like SO much fun…

  22. Scott M says

    I’m fairly certain that Rome collapsed because of the upswing in cuddle parties and naked yoga. We would do well to learn from their example.

  23. cacambo says

    And the worst thing is that these woke cuddle nazis will soon be forcing us all to cuddle whether we want to or not. I can see it now: mandatory cuddle training in the workplace; cuddle studies taking over what’s left of the humanities at universities across the nation; democratic socialist presidential candidates vying to establish their cuddling bona fides. This horrible, dystopian future will be here any minute! OK, OK, maybe the cuddle wokeshop pic is from 15 years ago, but I can feel it, I CAN FEEL IT I TELL YOU!

    • Farris says

      The future: President Joe Biden demands Americans cuddle more.

  24. Farris says

    I have to admit it is a tad funny reading about exhibitionists, complaining about people looking.

    • Ray Andrews says

      The essence of feminist social manoeuvering is to be able to flaunt your charms and complain about it at the same time. Like the Hooters waitress who complains that her breasts are being noticed, the poor dear. I suspect that it’s the unavoidable cognitive dissonance in female strategy that is the reason for so much female neurosis. Contrast, say, the Hollywood bombshells of the 40s who knew what their assets were, and used them to effect, and didn’t feel the need to pretend that this made them Victims.

      • E. Olson says

        Ray wrote – “Like the Hooters waitress who complains that her breasts are being noticed, the poor dear.”

        and I add: “while at the same time complaining that the bigger breasted waitresses also get larger tips.

        • Ray Andrews says

          @E. Olson

          … and she then goes for implants to boost her take. All the while complaining about the male gaze.

  25. dirk says

    To be honest, there is almost nothing I like more seeing, than the naked body of a young female, and not above 30 years, please. Am I the only one here?? I fear, to be corrupted by the media, though!

    • Heike says

      What you like is actually fertility. Seeing a healthy, fertile female of breeding age, with whom you could have viable offspring, and said offspring would be likely also desirable and able to mate with other desirable humans, thus furthering your line…that’s what men really mean deep underneath when they have these feelings.

      • dirk says

        But, Heike, isn’t fertility strongly connected with sex? I mean originally, not now anymore, after the invention of the pill.
        In fact, I still see it like that, though, know very well that this no longer generally accepted. Some psychologists ,about 5 yrs ago, came with the observation that young women, in their fertility period dressed up and behaved more sexy, to attract the males around (any? or the alpha ones?)? There was a time that animals (thus, our ancestors) pnly had sex during their fertility periods, meaning, just only a few days in 3 or 4 years. Yes, that’s how it was, though, long ago, of course, but still, remnants of it survive.

  26. dirk says

    Another thing: what hell can naked yoga have to do with cuddle parties??
    I cudle my cat, my dog, my child, but my love??? Not the first thing I think about!

    • dirk says

      What I meant here was, what has cuddling to do with naked?( naked/sex)??
      But, maybe, it has. Who knows? In animal life it has not, more often, it is a sign of domination/subservience. For example, with cows licking one another

  27. OleK says

    I have to say….this article could be 100% genuine and sincere…but reads like comedy since it is just so predictable. The activities (cuddle parties, naked yoga, etc) are silly enough on the face of it, but the behavior of the participants? Well, duh! LOLOLOL!

    I love this quote:
    “…as part of her apprenticeship, a hazing ritual that has to be endured if she’s going to enter the lucrative industry.”

    Lucrative industry….BWAHAHAHAHA!

  28. David of Kirkland says

    Some men who can’t find women to spend time with like to find places where they can. News at 11.

    • E. Olson says

      Hard hitting features on nude yoga classes will certainly be featured on the local news during sweeps week – gotta get those ratings up.

  29. Kevin Herman says

    When somebody said something obvious as a kid we would respond with something like “No shit sherlock”. I guess the idea was you didn’t need to be sherlock homes to figure that out. “No shit sherlock” is my response to this piece. As an aside God never intended for yoga and certainly not naked yoga. A quick googling of yoga will show that it has been proven to have almost zero physical health benefits beyond maybe some mental calming/relaxing benefits. Its also possible to be too flexible going past the range of motion intended for certain body parts is probably not a good idea. Now most of that is meant to be light hearted (although true what I said about the health benefits etc) so if you enjoy yoga please dont rage at me! Im sure I engage in plenty of activities with questionable benefits other then I enjoy it for some reason.

    • Lightning Rose says

      The reason modern, decontextualized yoga has “almost zero health benefits” is that, like “kung-fu,” shugendo, shorinji kempo, qigong, and taiji it has been separated from its cultural context which encompassed an entire worldview; diet, monasticism, sexual continence, and only then finally the intentional cultivation and direction of the kundalini energy.
      This is frankly some very powerful stuff which should be undertaken ONLY under (rare!) qualified instruction and with long and correct preparation. Screw with it casually, you may go MAD!

      Unfortunately, faux “spiritual masters” from the East saw a cash cow selling decontexutalized exercise routines to ignorant Yuppies, and a trendy must-be-seen-doing activity was born. These people are performing “stupid human trick” contortions without the necessary grounding in philosophy, worldview, and physical preparation that gave the discipline its value in the context of the traditional culture from which it sprung. How is this NOT egregious “cultural appropriation?”

      People literally don’t know what they’re screwing with here; the body’s sexual energy is one of the fundamental powers of the Universe, and to use it as a superficial toy degrades both the practice and the person. Basically you’re a bozo who knows not what he plays the fool with, regardless of whether you can show off by cramming your leg behind your neck or standing on your head, and I couldn’t care less how fashionably emaciated you appear naked. The real deal requires deep philosophical study that is debatably even accessible to Westerners, some major sacrifice and the commitment of a lifetime that vanishingly few can attain.

      • Defenstrator says

        There is no such thing as Kundalini energy. I hate to break it to you but this is the 21st century, and any energy that exists can be measured. If it exists please show us proof. Otherwise stow your ridiculous mystic mumbo jumbo.

        As for the article, it seemed an exercise in watching someone tortuously begin to grasp the obvious.

        • Lightning Rose says

          There is exactly as much scientific evidence for “kundalini” energy or “qi” as there is for the salutary effects of chiropractic, homeopathy, juicing, low-fat diets, most spine surgeries, or cannabidiol. Which is to say, none. Doesn’t stop millions from believing it, however. Ditto for virgin birth, transubstantiation, resurrection of the body and the divine right of kings. . . otherwise why would anyone do something as damned inconvenient and uncomfortable and silly looking as yoga? I sure as hell don’t! 😉

  30. closed says

    The positive take away of the article is that in the contest between human nature and ideology, human nature still wins. It’s true that the characterisation of the men as being needy, icky, etc was probably showing a little too much the author’s own emotional response, but we should give her credit for actually going to these events and seeing through the wokeness for what they are. It helps that we can now point to this as an example of hypocrisy among those who pretend to be bastions of morality.

  31. Emerald City says

    Well…is anyone surprised? I’ve seen many ads for this kind of thing, and it immediately just strikes me as something that is practically set up to give men and women very different experiences. Obviously straight men in the presence of naked young women are going to feel some kind of way. Whether or not it’s intentional is somewhat irrelevant in light of the whole biological processes thing. Sure, men can restrain their urges, and there’s plenty of historical moralizing about how, when, and why we should. But that those urges exist is something most people have the sense to live with and work around. Men are not monsters, but neither are we saints.

    Women, I think, expect too much of men on this front. I am not in the camp of believing men and women cannot be platonic friends who share intimate, non sexual friendships, HOWEVER, men who are attracted to women are going to notice when they are in the company of naked women. The women organizing these events are, essentially, deluding themselves if they think they can ask men to turn that off.

    At the same time, it’s not out of the question to ask the men to be a little less obvious and creepy about it. A glance and a glare are different things after all. I’ve spent the better part of my adult life doing just that on account of being gay. There would probably be some heated words if another guy saw me leering at him in the locker room, so I refrain. Straight men could consider this if they really are trying to participate in a co-ed event without ulterior motives.

    Women should probably accept that in any mixed gender setting where people are naked, some of the men will be looking at them, and they may become aroused despite their best intentions. It’s biology, not a character flaw. Men, meanwhile should ask themselves how they would feel if a gay man were leering at them the same way they were leering at the women, and if they can’t at least be more tactful, if they must look. I think that leaves room for people to be honest about human sexuality, but still be respectful of one another.

    Alternatively, everyone could just wear clothes.

    • MMS says

      @Emarld – You are a person of piratical and sincere rationality… We can’t have that now can we.

    • Denny Sinnoh says

      On Star Trek TNG, Lt. Data had an “emotion chip” he could turn off at will, so he never had to worry around Counselor Troi’s cleavage.

  32. Harrison Bergeron says

    “There’s no difference between a naked yoga session and an exotic dancer spreading her legs apart—you can look but can’t touch!”

    Well there is one very big difference. At a strip club the dancer walks away with all of the men’s cash.

  33. David K says

    I think the author’s conclusions are mostly correct, but I found this quote odd:

    “One of my tutor’s comments horrified me. She told me that a man had asked, ‘How are we going to divide up the women?’ It’s just gross. They are very sad men.”

    How can you say that men attending the event that you set up are sad? Or at least, sad in the pejorative sense that they are using it in. Of course, the event is designed for “sad” people in the sense that they lack physical affection in their lives, that’s the entire point. As the one man said, if someone has a girlfriend or romantic partner, they would have no need for a cuddle party. Is the tutor implying that (heterosexual) men should want to cuddle with other men? In what universe?

    There’s nothing wrong with men who want to cuddle with a woman rather than a man. There is arguably something wrong with the people organizing these events who call the people who attend and are part of the target demographic creepy or perverted.

  34. Donnerhauser says

    I am not surprised. If the comparisons of Woke Ideology to religion hold true, then for woke men, they are in a bit of a bind when it comes to naked women. On the one hand they are still men and thus still experience male desires (turns out social constructionism can’t solve that). On the other hand, their ideology/pseudo-religion tells them it is wrong, it is fundamentally sinful, for them to ogle a woman’s body and become aroused (“objectification” in intersectional Newspeak). Thus they need a way to satisfy their desires in a religiously acceptable way. Things like the above allow them to do so.

    A lot of woke men I have the misfortune to know are like this; they treat female beauty as this sacred thing and hate the idea of people looking. However, when it occurs in special contexts like naked yoga, it is not profane (the same reason why sex outside of marriage was sinful – by occurring in marriage, it occurs in a sacred space and thus is not profane). All of this, by the way, is why the Party in 1984 is so anti-sex, it was mocking communist (SJWs literal and metaphorical grandparents) sexual puritanism.

    It’s also possible these men are pursuing the Sneaky Fucker mating strategy (to use Gad Saad’s excellent term, which he actually got from zoology). Again, the woke men I know probably couldn’t get dates if not for Sneaky Fuckerness.

    • Nakatomi Plaza says

      I promise that you’ve put way more thought into this than any creepy old guy who attends snuggle parties. You’re a bit like the closeted homosexual who makes a big show of hating gays, I’d say.

      And bullshit you know a lot of “woke” guys. Those guys are getting laid as much as anybody.

      • Donnerhauser says

        I was making observations about their behaviour based on what I know actually, though nice try with the ad hominems in lieu of any actual argument. Moving on to a more substantive response to your post, people often don’t understand their own motivations and I doubt the men described in this article do either. I drew my arguments from what I know of psychology and religious fundamentalists, observing the parallels and making conclusions.

        But I do know woke men and this is this they behave. I guess you could call me a liar, which you have, but since I do know them I guess other readers will have to decide for themselves whether or not I am telling the truth.

        Also I didn’t say they weren’t getting dates, I said they wouldn’t get dates without Sneaky Fucker strategies. So not only do you hurl ad hominems and call me a liar, you didn’t even read what I wrote.

        • Etiamsi omnes says

          Nagasaki Blabla is back and she picked you as a victim. She needs that to feel good about herself.

  35. Serenity says

    I’d bet, 95% of the comments above are written by men. And they are hugely entertaining.

    5% of the comments, the boring ones, are written by women.

    Why?

    Did I ask something wrong? Am I a sexist?

    • dirk says

      A sexist? Maybe. But just only look at the illustration! Men automatically see an interesting, attractive object here, women just a subject like they themselves are, nothing to comment on especially. Just a body in action. Quite boring!

    • JLM says

      Perhaps, Serenity, 95% of the comments are written by men because 95% of the people who read the article are men. They were lured by the photo of the naked young woman. See how that works?

      • E. Olson says

        Hefner made his fortune selling his magazine to men who read Playboy “for the articles”.

  36. Weasels Ripped My Flesh says

    Speaking of wokespeak – can someone explain what this sentence from the article means:

    “They’re the kind of guys who performatively check their privilege, and who take it upon themselves to supervise the privilege-checking of others.”

    How does one go about “performatively” checking their privilege? Every time I’ve checked on my privilege – it’s doing fine. In fact, I rarely have to check – it just hums along on its own. Little to no maintenance required, let alone any performance.

    How would one of these “kind of guys” supervise my privilege checking?

    • E. Olson says

      My guess is they “performatively check their privilege” by doing their best to become mediocre human beings by not being very successful, attractive, or desirable (but successful enough to pay tuition for the nude cuddle courses).

      And of course they can supervise your privilege-checking by trying to get you fired, deplatformed, expelled, humiliated, re-educated, etc. for not doing enough to make yourself equally mediocre.

    • Nakatomi Plaza says

      It’s meaningless drivel. The writer is trying to place herself in the mind of some random guy and imagine some bizarre horseshit that has nothing to do with reality.

      It’s like the writer has been told not to picture a pink elephant, so now everything is a pink elephant and she won’t shut up about all these imaginary pink elephants everywhere.

    • Harold Porter says

      It means to publically show everyone that ‘you are aware of your privilege’ so that everyone will be impressed by how ‘virtuous’ you are. Once you have publically estabished your identity-politics righteousness-credentials then you go on to exert your superiority over others by pointing out their ‘un-checked privilege’…

  37. codadmin says

    Unless you’re the type of pervert who loves the sensation of fresh fart on your face, you will hate naked yoga classes, regardless of the view.

  38. RTW says

    If I didn’t know any better, I’d venture to guess that the purpose of these sorts of things is for the organizers to bait these “sad” horny men into attending, take their money, soak up the frustrated male sexual attention, and then turn around and accuse these men, who are exactly the sort that would actually feel guilty, of being creepy, thus also satisfying the lowly human impulse to bully.

    Women aren’t that naive. This is femininity at its worst.

    • Asenath Waite says

      @RTW

      Based on suicide rates, lonely men (incels) seem to be one of the most downtrodden groups in western society, but also seem to be the one group that no one on any side has any qualms about gleefully beating down yet further, and in fact many appear to consider it virtuous to do so and cast these men as the true villains.

  39. Must be something wrong with me. The entire thing, woke, creepy, whatever, even the article and the pseudo semi-disgusted stance of the writer, all scream ‘YUK’ at me. And I’m no prude. It’s difficult for me to understand the nature of the people who would attend such events. I don’t like touching people and I don’t like people touching me, except of course… Yes, except when, where and with whom I choose to touch, intimately and privately. That’s very important to me. It’s got to be done privately. I don’t want anyone watching. It simply seems horrible to me that groups of people would all get together, naked, and God forbid, start touching/cuddling each other. Expletive! I’d be out of there faster than.

    Now I’m no stranger to nudity, especially very attractive young females, but in professional situations. I love looking at and admiring beautiful women as objects. I adore feminine beauty. I guess it’s just what comes with being a man. At least it has been for me. But perhaps I’ve been luckier than some in so far as from a very young age, 17, I worked as a photographer around and with professional models in advertising, fashion, yes lingerie, and dance groups where girls think nothing of being barely dressed and changing for the next shot or number in open spaces. But they know it’s professional. Nobody touches anybody, except the makeup girl or wardrobe, who I always made sure were there to act as witness in case someone made up stories. Girls do sometimes you know. I used the Pence method long before it became public knowledge of today, especially working with nudes (only makeup required, no wardrobe).

    In those situations there’s a business-like air and professional respect on stage or set. There’s also trust. Yes there’s always temptation but, hey I was a married man, so no-go. And of course there was art school with classical life drawing. I never got too excited about drawing bros, but enjoyed drawing nude girls. But all of that was a long time ago, back when photography was real and not just an accessory on a telephone. Now I just draw girls, but not from life, from the plethora of softcore porn anatomy models available on the internet. Does anybody else study female anatomy online? Unfortunately these days it’s mostly gynaecology. Pretty femininity, good photography and lighting all seem to have disappeared.

    Naked yoga and cuddle parties? You’ve got to be kidding. I’d rather die and I don’t think I’d have much time for anyone who frequented those sorts of things – to interact or write about it.

    • E. Olson says

      Max – I expect you could have made serious money by getting some of the old grizzled men to pay you for permission to be your assistant during the lingerie photo shoots.

      • Hi E. Their were plenty of places around at the time to cater for that audience. And yes, I guess they made a lot of money and probably still do. But the studio was not that sort of place and the models weren’t those sorts of girls. Those shoots were strictly closed set. That’s because everybody in the place wanted to have a look, even the receptionists, maybe even especially the receptionists, go figure. So the door was locked. We didn’t want Joe the delivery man wandering through the door and getting a surprise. It was a lot of fun back then, about 40 or so years ago. And to think, I chucked it all in and took up a STEM occupation, flying aeroplanes! The only thing I saw semi naked after that, after getting sort of connected with the military, was seeing soldiers getting around in towels after PT. Not a pretty sight. Hairy torsos aren’t my thing. Oh well, I still have my memories and I still do some art to remind me of what young girls look like. Good luck to you.

  40. R. Danton says

    “But these men are not that different to the guys who go to a strip club and pay £20 for women to grind their butts in their faces. ”

    Wrong – the difference is that the latter are direct and honest, and not ashamed of their sexual lusts and desire for women.

    Where I live, prostitution is legal, so no need to mess around with this kind of nonsense. For a price you can cut straight to the chase, and instead of secretively gawking at naked women, actually have, you know, sex.

  41. Andrew Worth says

    The article is just an excuse to act offended and shocked and to sneer at and condemn lonely older men for acting in a totally natural and unsurprising way given the opportunity presented.

    • Asenath Waite says

      @Andrew Worth

      Because lonely older men are the devil and deserve nothing less than eternal torment for their sinful desires.

    • Captain Obvious says

      I think you missed the part in the article about hypocrisy. I think the author even pointed out that no one would bat an eye if they went to a strip club as most lonely older men do, but the fact is the people at naked yoga are not being honest about their intentions and hide behind a certain woke ideology.

  42. David Wall says

    This whole article had the feel analogous to some naieve reporter writing an expose of professional wrestling “It’s choreographed…its pretend!!!” and thinking that they’ve had a major insight – missing completely that it’s an open secret, and that the audience are participants in the act.

  43. “And with each event I cover, I become more suspicious that these “alternative” workshops are simply a way for apparently progressive men to gawp at women—lap dancing clubs for the woke.”
    But you say it like it’s BAD!?

    “Before the event, the men always ask about the ratio and if I tell them that there are more men, then they won’t come,” she explained.
    Thereby balancing the genders.

    “Wokeshop”? My neologism for today! With any luck, I’ll have forgotten it by tomorrow.

  44. Nakatomi Plaza says

    So left-leaning guys can be as creepy as conservative men? Wow. What a revelation. We might say that this sort of behavior is a product of masculinity, but Quillette won’t tolerate any aspersions against sacred manhood. Instead I guess we’ll just made some bizarre accusations about “woke” men based on….. what exactly? No, none of this shit makes any sense.

    Next thing you’ll tell us that those d-bags doing naked yoga want to put a woman in prison for up to 99 years if she has an abortion. Now that would be fucked up, right?

    • Asenath Waite says

      @Nakatomi Plaza

      What sort of behavior? Enjoying the sight of naked women? I guess that is pretty much a product of masculinity, yeah.

      And I believe that law only would allow for the prosecution of doctors who perform abortions, not the women who have them.

  45. mirrormere says

    This article is hysterical! We can overcome human biology with a few well-placed ideological reforms. That should work!

  46. MichaelJ says

    Setting aside the rather sniggering and sanctimonious tone of this piece noted by other commentators, something missing seems to be an acknowledgement that many women who participate in naked yoga might actually enjoy being naked under the “male gaze”. For some women, naked yoga might offer an opportunity to indulge in a taboo behaviour under the guise of a wholesome activity, just as it rather obviously does for the male participants.

    Woman with an exhibitionist streak run a risk of being labelled as sluts by conservative prudes and of being accused of pandering to men’s ‘objectification’ of women by a certain – currently prevalent – strand of feminism. Perhaps naked yoga is a forum in which men and women can covertly engage in a mutual erotic transaction without being shamed by neo-Victorians.

    • MMS says

      @MJ There may well be some truth to this and viva le differance… I am sure that I know of at least one or two woman who feel this way about beaches in the Caribbean… We need to get back to the concept of to each their own….

    • Asenath Waite says

      @MichaelJ

      If I were a chick I would be all over that. I think this is the main appeal of transgenderism. That’s a fantasy, though.

  47. ilsemeyer says

    Absolutely silly article. The author is referencing the City of London where with a population of around 9 million souls weird shit is going to happen. But really: I would suspect that only a minuscule fraction of London’s citizens — what, a couple of thousand people? — would be involved in the types of workshops described by the author. Hardly a story or phenomena. It is, though, a wonderful opportunity for the author and many commenters to ride around on their high horses dispensing truisms.

    And I think we all should acknowledge that even most gentlemen — when it comes down to women — are basically nothing but patient wolves.

    • Roger Waters says

      Unlike islemeyer, who doesn’t truck in mere truisms, but gives us the facts, straight…

        • Tyler says

          Many people prefer the Wall, but I’m more partial to Dark Side. By the way, Animals is criminally underrated.

          In all seriousness, the author has me confused. Are most of the men 30 year old hipsters pretending to be woke just to get laid? Or are they fat, bald lonely 50 year olds looking for a cheap thrill? The author seemed to vacillate between the two populatoons

  48. Check their privilege…woke…almost difficult to believe this written by somebody in the UK. Or would be had this island not been contaminated by American idiocy over the last few years, as this whole article on this ludicrous phenomenon is testament to.

    • Asenath Waite says

      @Graham

      Like the UK is doing any better than the US in terms of liberty and the absence of woke authoritarianism. Seems like the US is the only western democracy pushing back to any significant extent currently. Does it really make sense to create divisions amongst those on the same side?

    • Donnerhauser says

      It then often goes from the UK to mainland Europe as well, though sometimes it is more direct. An acquaintance of mine from the Netherlands found it spread via the universities thanks to professional and personal connections. I was unsurprised to find that, amongst those I know, it spreads heavily through the humanities and social sciences.

      What’s more unfortunate is that it is copied and pasted straight from the US to Europe. You can see this with how they love to treat all ethnic Europeans as a homogenous mass of “white people”, ignorant of the long-standing differences and tensions between the people of Europe.

  49. Must admit, I did like when the writer forgot to use the ludicrous ‘wokeshop’ word and used ‘workshop’ a few times by accident. ‘Wankshop’ might have been more appropriate, cos the place was full of wankers. 🙂

  50. Andrew Worth says

    This articles is written in a woke style, making moral judgments about other people from on high.

  51. Steve says

    The article brought to mind the book ‘Self-Made Man: One Woman’s Year Disguised As A Man’ by Laura Vincent. Lots of insight into the difficulties of living with a male libido in civilized society. Some guys are creeps because they can’t get what nature has programmed them to want. And they can’t get what they want because they’re creeps.

  52. Plausibly Deniable Ash says

    39-year-old male here. I go to nude swims a few times a year, and I think the author has a pretty good bead on the situation. Yes, there are other reasons to enjoy naturism, but being able to hang around with naked women is a significant draw.

    • Lightning Rose says

      Somehow I think “nude swims” with women my age would kill that desire faster than the Gorgon Medusa! 😉

      • Steve says

        Funny how actual nudity isn’t nearly as arousing as scantily-cladness.

    • Asenath Waite says

      @Blue Lobster

      What happened to Claire’s Landing Strip?

      • dirk says

        Could be, but don’t think so. Educated women don’t go for the naked scene so quickly. They know better how to behave!

    • MMS says

      Guys don’t be idiots… All the reader of Q. are lucky that such a publication exists. All the reader are lucky Ms. Lehmann has the ability, courage, and wherewithal to publish Q. – I am also sure she is likely not a prudish person. But show some respect and decorum. Discuss matters like adults… I know the comments may have been made in jest but please…

      • dirk says

        Very well said, MMS, fully agree (though, sometimes don’t follow it up)

  53. David Minty says

    In North America, a woman can make $100 or even $150 per hour offering non-sexual cuddling (e.g. CuddleUp). Rea touches on this when she writes of the “lucrative industry”. Mind, that’s one-on-one. These groups seem the terrible intersection of broke / cheap leftist “creepy” men and unmotivated, slothful woke women. Proving once again that socialism really does make everything less fun.

  54. Stephanie says

    Great article, although nothing a woman with any experience with men couldn’t have predicted. There’s nothing wrong with men wanting to see and touch women, and men with no chance of attracting a half-decent woman eventually give up and pursue hobbies that give them such proximity. Photography is a popular one, for those able to fork over thousands of dollars for equipment.

    The ones I judge are the women leading these creepy events. They certainly understand that it is a meat market, and that they are renting out the women who sign up. The justifications they make for themselves must be interesting. Of course they probably just blame the individual men, rather than allowing themselves to grasp that it’s only these bottom of the barrel men that such an event can hope to attract.

    Young women should also be more aware that men are always looking at them sexually. Don’t engage in anything remotely sexual that men will be a part of if you don’t want to be leered at. And if sexual attention is what you want, you can find much more attractive people at your local bar than at these beta-male events.

  55. Owntown Darts Scene says

    I trust naked chicks will gratefully flock to me if I make fun of the sad, grizzled, creepy, old and no doubt toxic males depicted in this article. That’s how it works, right?

    Dunno, just seems like a different erotic aesthetic as compared to ye olde strip club. More refined, more perverted – who’s to judge? Not really something to write home about, less so to write in Quillette about, perhaps.

    Next time, maybe do Naomi Wolf and “yoni massage”? Or maybe not.

  56. Justin Rodin says

    Just image searched Samantha Rea. Would definitely go to nude yoga if she was in attendance.

  57. Peter says

    For everyone who is only slightly autistic or likes his personal space to belong only to himself, the thought of cuddling with strangers or anyone at all without extensive “foreplay” is just a nightmare. But then again, aren’t they currently bending autistic children into thinking they are transsexual? It all makes sense..

  58. Fionn says

    Men who make a big show of being woke, feminist and progressive are often covering for being predatory creeps.

    Well colour me surprised.

  59. dirk says

    What I have been thinking after my first comment here: from my catholic upbringing I remember the moral value of nature laws: masturbation , homosexuality are bad, because it is against nature, and so on. Now look at other temptations and the morals of it. I’m thirsty on a hot day after work, ,feel thristy, tempted to drink cold water or beer, and just do it, until satisfied. Heaven on earth for a moment!. Next scene:
    I pass a stand with tasty , good smelling broilers and am tempted to buy one, share it with my wife, surprise!!, till we are satisfied. Here we come near. Now , I sit on a terrace in the spring sun, the waitress comes almost dancing to my table, she wears tight jeans, around nicely curved bum, she smiles friendly at me (why young girls always so friendly and laughing? boys just do their jobs) and asks what I would like. Of course, I don’t say that, I just order a beer. The sequence here is different from that first beer and the broiler, the temptations and the human nature/biology similar, but the next steps?, done or left??

    How long is this now already going on, and when (after having seen a TV program with a gorilla family in the bush and the eating and mating there, quite similar activities) has this changed so drastically? Since the Neanderthalers? or already much before that maybe?

  60. Max says

    Is it just me or are smears and drivel such as this slipping past the editors at Quillette at an increasing level?

  61. James says

    “On the surface, these workshops are all above-board. After all, what could be creepy about a fully-clothed cuddle? Don’t we all need some affection? What could be impure about practising yoga as nature intended?”

    I appreciate that the writer is fully aware of how ridiculous this all is, so please don’t take this the wrong way, but what the hell is wrong us? The average septuagenarian church marm apparently has a better grasp of human nature and what drives human behaviour than many educated people.

    Men are largely motivated by sex. If you advertise an event and announce that naked young women will attend, unless you specifically exclude men, then most of the people who turn up will probably be men.

    Our repressed ancestors knew this. It’s why they kept men in check and women’s clothes on. I don’t want to go back to puritanism. But when we ditched it, there was no obligation to also throw out our self awareness.

    Modern life is unintentionally hilarious. But also infuriating.

    • dirk says

      And the most effective way to keep men and women in check is, of course, the hijab or even better, the burqa. That’s what was fully understood and spoken out clearly by a prophet 1400 yrs ago, and still practiced all over the world,though, in some nations more than in others, of course ( in the NLs just only by small minority).

  62. timothy says

    The very fact that someone would write this, as if it weren’t obvious, shows a stunning naivete.

  63. Rod Alan says

    Guys, guys, I think we’ve been expertly trolled . Kilts, knots, we can do it all!

  64. Pingback: We Need A Famine – Small Dead Animals

  65. Duke says

    Cuddling? That’s what pets are for.
    Nakedness? That’s what showers are for.
    Liberals? That’s what psychiatrists are for.

    • dirk says

      You hit the nails on the head, Duke. But, it all depends where are you are born. In the post-sovjet zone? You wouldn’t even understand the problem, or issue, or what the hell this all is about. This is the West, after all!

  66. Julia says

    It’s pretty obvious that those workshops are designed as proxies to sex. I doubt there are no women who attend them for the same reason as those men. But then they discover that a part of the package is hugging with older men, not just cute sexy young guys. Others are patently naive.

    I remember when hugging and undressing was completely free for young single women. But times change.

  67. SFG says

    What’s most amusing about this article is that the writer no doubt imagined the audience would thrill to the mocking of ‘woke’ people and forgot some of them might identify with the body-shamed (and that’s what it is, no question) old men.

    It splits the audience’s prejudices right down the middle, which is a good look for a magazine devoted to free speech. In my opinion, anyway. I enjoy the selection and the comments.

  68. Dominic Allaway says

    The author was invited to a naked ‘workshop’ or ‘class’?

    I think the author may have actually been in a middle class brothel but didn’t realise that the terms used were just euphemisms…

  69. David Blair says

    Somebody should tell Joe Biden about this. He’d enjoy a cuddle party.

  70. L. H. Draken says

    Here’s a crazy idea.

    Perhaps cuddling and nakedness is the privilege of intimacy with someone who has proven their worth relationship wise. Perhaps it’s not something you can get ‘for free’.

    When the Woke Left suggests these ‘goodies’ should, in fact, be available to everyone, not just those who do the work to make themselves attractive and coveted partners on the traditional social market (through the hard work and discipline of exercising, eating well, taking care of their bodies or work hard at developing their skill or career), it is no different than the communism that says material gain should be the spoils of all, no matter how little an individual contributes to the success of the system.

    The reason only old, Grizzled, sad, men are dominating groups like these should be obvious. Those people who work hard to make themselves competitive in the social market aren’t going to hand out the accompanying privileges for free. Nor should they. The privilege of cuddling and nakedness is a risky and vulnerable privilege, and one should win the right to intimacy by showing you deserve that freedom.

    If you’re a beautiful woman giving away the goods for free, you’ll attract people who are willing to take things for free. Why would a sane, career-successful or attractive man come to an event like this when he’s already in such demand on the ‘traditional’ market? He’s not showing up at stuff like this. And if you’re a successful and/or attractive woman, you’re a fool for coming as well.

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