Features, Feminism, Privilege
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Feminism Blinds Students to the Truth About Men

As a student at Barnard, a women’s college in NYC, feminism pervades all aspects of the curriculum. As students, we’re awash in the pervasive narrative that women are always on the losing side of the gender wars.

This is ridiculous. At a school where acknowledging intersectionality is de rigueur, one would expect to encounter dialogue about issues that men face too.  However, after two years here, I have never witnessed students or professors broach the topic in a positive way.

What’s more alarming is how often female peers display conspiratorial glee when they make fun of and delegitimize men’s issues. Last week for example, a classmate posted a video featuring the scholar Christina Hoff Sommers to the Barnard 2018 class Facebook page. The video had legitimate talking points about male academic underachievement.

However, in a  vicious effort to delegitimize the video’s claim that “male underachievement is everyone’s concern,” a fellow student sanctimoniously wrote that the concern is “not [her’s],” followed with an acronym that denoted laughter. This outright delegitimization of male issues was met with many ‘likes,’ and it is a very common reaction students have when they are faced with male issues.

Are women so smothered by the blanket of victimhood that we can’t concede that men face issues too? Isn’t the hallmark of intersectionality finding victimhood everywhere?

Feminist boosterism can make us feel empowered. This is good; I too love when I am told I am special and powerful. Women do indeed face many problems in society.  However, at my women’s college in particular,  feminist ideology renders students blind to the injustices that disproportionately affect men, like homelessness, harsh prison sentencing, and gang violence.

Thus, colleges need to actively incorporate men’s issues into their curriculum. To actively avoid talking about men’s issues is to create a citizenry deprived of important knowledge about how the world works for men and shields students from socio-economic realities. This must end.

When I started taking Women’s Studies classes 4 years ago, I was seduced by feminist ideology. Mentally tabulating my oppression cards became a hobby.  Unfortunately, being steeped in feminism didn’t just make me blind to the truth about men—it made me actively resist learning about it.

Thankfully, while feminism taught me that women were on the losing side of everything—real life taught me that disadvantage is more nuanced than that.

Men are 4 times more likely to die by suicide. As schizophrenia is arguably one of the worst mental illnesses, men are also 2-3x more likely to fall ill to it. Research tends to concur that men are anywhere from 2-15x more likely to have autism. Men also are also twice as likely to develop alcohol addiction, which is a debilitating and destructive disease that has ramifications for everyone, including women and children.

Men, especially men of color, also tend to face prison at higher rates than women. According to the Federal Bureau of Prisons, men constitute 93% of those locked up. Men also receive 63% longer prison sentences for comparable crimes.

Many people also say that “men are at The Top.” While it is true that many of the most powerful people are men, we must also recognize that men predominate at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder too.  62% of the homeless population is male. Men are also 9x more likely to die homeless. In my experience living in NYC, homeless males outnumber females sleeping on the streets by at least 10:1, sometimes by much more. Unfortunately, neither men’s issues nor homelessness are glamorous activist domains.

Additionally, 85% of black homicide victims are male. The last time I brought this up in a conversation, a white feminist scoffed and said “well that’s their fault,” which implied that victims of gang violence somehow deserved it. That’s similar to the victim-blaming we see with reference to rape. When men lose out, women lose out too. Many of these men are fathers, husbands, and sons. The tear in the social fabric when a community loses a man to gun violence or incarceration has devastating reverberations throughout everyone else’s life.

Fortunately, it was not textbooks that delivered me from my ignorance, but conversations with the homeless, the mentally ill, former prisoners, drug dealers and many working class and middle class men. Most students lack that exposure, and are therefore unable to fathom how privileged they are.

For me personally, I’ve learned that while being a female puts me at a higher risk of facing rape and domestic violence, it also has served as a shield against street violence, homelessness, poverty,  academic failure, functional illiteracy, gun violence, and involvement in the criminal justice system. Once I took off my feminist blinders, I realized that I was fabulously privileged.

But colleges will never let students know about these issues. To mention anything that conflicts with the feminist narrative of victimhood is heretical. But professors should be teaching this. Teaching students about this will help them be more knowledgeable future leaders. Our educational institutions have the unique obligation to educate students; men’s issues should be on our syllabi too.

The vast majority of elite women’s college students come from upper-middle class economic backgrounds. Women’s colleges, and private colleges in general, effectively quarantine young women in protective bourgeois maternal bubbles. Students are sheltered both physically and academically from the ravages that face men.

The failure of schools to engender an awareness of male issues in students is harmful. How can we create a truly equal society when male-specific issues aren’t just ignored, but laughed at?

 

Toni Airaksinen is a sophomore student at Barnard College. She is a columnist for The Columbia Daily Spectator and she tweets @Toni_Airaksinen.

144 Comments

    • Yandoodan says

      I agree. This is a great article. I wish I wrote this good, and thought this clearly, when I was a sophomore.

      There are two points I want to comment on however, neither in disagreement.

      1. Feminist theory sees privilege as a zero sum game. To get privilege for females it must be taken from males. At the very least this needs challenge and study. At its worst it leads to the ugly spectacle of wealthy women trying to grasp privilege from dirt-poor men living in trailers and frightened by the continuous insecurity of their lives.

      2. And I have bad news for you Toni. Unless you are so privileged that your parents can arrange your high-level job for you, your women’s studies courses will be toxic. All employers nowadays check college backgrounds. As soon as they see these courses they will see you as as a walking lawsuit. Someone who takes notes every day on her hostile working environment. When they go to fill this job there will be a second choice (and a third) nearly as qualified as you. They will get it, not you.

      My advice to you (and anyone in an ivy league school with Identity Studies on their records): Quit now. Go to a good state school (to save the money you’ll need to make the loan payments on your wasted years). Major in Computer Science or Engineering, professions so in demand that you’ll walk into a good job straight from school. If you’re as smart as you (and I) think are you will thrive with one of these challenging majors. Don’t ever mention the time you spent at Bernard.

      • Good advice. While UK law arguably outlaws discriminating on the basis that someone has been in a ‘gender studies’ (feminism indoctrination) course, most employers I know want people who are not steeped in any ideology that is likely to disrupt the workforce.

      • You say it will hurt her in the workforce. Yet, right now she seems to be doing quite well from it given her work at Quillette and Campus Reform. In fact, it seems to be getting her quite a lot of work.

        In a way.

    • Toni, You admit that the feminists in your college are a very narrow cross section of the population (pri villages) rather than representative of it and yet you generalise your experience of them to ALL feminists. Similarly you take the very specific experience of feminists ridiculing men in your school and generalise to the whole population of men being ridiculed in society. This is Stereotyping and let us not forget it is precisely stereotyping of both men and women that got us in the sexism mess in the first place. I’m a staunch feminist and the title of my last blog about gender’s effect on men’s psychological health says it all:

      The-invisibility-of-male-privilege-and-pain

      http://www.munajawhary.com/sex-equality/gender-conditioning/the-invisibility-of-male-privilege-and-pain/

      You seem an astute observer and dealing with gender issues would benefit hugely from objective observers like yourself, so wishing you all the best
      Muna

      • Joseph says

        That’s what feminism has done to men to me when he puts the bad behaviors of a lot feminists on all of them he’s doing the right thing. You cannot judge a race of people nor a gender but you can judge a movement because they have a goal no matter how “diverse” they may be it’s a common goal for women to be “equal” in all respects and in everything else which they are. The reason why you can’t judge races of a gender (on the action of some) is those individuals want different things like men all around the world want different things in life and different dreams they have similar ambitions but they all want different things from life unless they are oppressed people who want liberation from their oppressors so they can succeed.

      • Obviously not all feminists ridicule men, but I agree with Toni that many share this disdain. Calling something stereotyping is at times a convenient way to shift focus and end the conversation.

      • SlyNine says

        The crux of this argument seems to assert male dominance. It completely ignores the ways females are dominant economically, academically, and politically (mainly politicians pandering to female issues while ignoring male issues).

        It ignores very basic evolutionary principles. Men are not stronger and cry less because mother nature did them a favor. It’s because that’s what was required for men to survive and reproduce. Social rules do not grow in a vacuum, they are the result of evolution as well.

        This whole article you linked is based on some baseless assertions that need to be seriously challanged.

        • SlyNine says

          This was meant to Muna “The crux of this argument seems to assert male dominance. It completely ignores the ways females are dominant economically, academically, and politically (mainly politicians pandering to female issues while ignoring male issues).
          It ignores very basic evolutionary principles. Men are not stronger and cry less because mother nature did them a favor. It’s because that’s what was required for men to survive and reproduce. Social rules do not grow in a vacuum, they are the result of evolution as well.
          This whole article you linked is based on some baseless assertions that need to be seriously challenged.”

    • taransula says

      Great article. Feminists will never be taken seriously as long as their idea of agency is tied up in peeking over the fence at what the men are doing 24 hours a day.

      I was raised by a strong mother, I have a strong, successful sister. We are ADULTS first, and men/women second. If your movement’s only source of content is constantly bemoaning the “oppressor” you don’t have a movement at all. You have a pity party.

    • Derek says

      Unfortunately your legitimate comments are far too late, men have already decided not to play ball anymore, your feminist groups have put women in a position where they will become more and more the victim. The irony is that the normal hetrosexual women will increasingly become the targets NOT the non hetrosexuals who are globally social engineering society, yes we know what is happening these non hetrosexual are protected for the moment by money and influence this will not last forever. So it is absolutely obvious women will be the ones to suffer severely in the future not men. You see women will never get equality because of two reasons, firstly men and women are fundamental different and second and probably most important is human nature, what they don’t want you to know is that a normal man will never be told what to do by a women ever. Good luck with your studies and I genuinely wish you well

    • Villa Lumi Koh Mak says

      Nice piece.
      I am not a feminist, I am equalist. Hopefully many more will be that in the near future.
      By the way: There is a lot to learn from Scandinavian countries in terms of equality, ie long, paid parental leaves for both parents, (almost) free daycare etc.

  1. “However, in a vicious effort to delegitimize the video’s claim that “male underachievement is everyone’s concern,” a fellow student sanctimoniously wrote that the concern is “not [her’s],” followed with an acronym that denoted laughter.”

    Well, it is called “He for She” And it’s important to make women laugh..

    “When I started taking Women’s Studies classes 4 years ago, I was seduced by feminist ideology. Mentally tabulating my oppression cards became a hobby.”

    The fiends. Exploiting the natural allure of Pokemon cards. It’s very effective.

    Nice to read, thanks Toni.

  2. They have a class’s for mens issues, there is masculine studies. It’s run by a male feminist called Micheal kimmel who believes masculinity is a pathological illness.

    This guy has phd in a study so niche he probably peer reviews his own papers.

    Feminism studies are like a fantasy novel with it own internal rules & logic which is why they never allow their papers to be peer reviewed outside their circle and are the laughing stock of scientific communities.

    Feminism will never address men’s issues in a constructive way b/c it doesn’t fit their fantasy world. If they do they have to recon their narrative or create paradoxes like ‘the patriarchy hurts men too’.

    • Howard says

      His men’s studies are run by the anti male women such as the author of Vagina Monologues and Gloria Steinem- of the “women need men like fish need a bicycle”. I met him in person at a small women’s bar association conference. His continual mocking and vilification of men was disturbing. After the speech, I went up to him and mentioned about how on campuses men’s centers are being opposed and stopped. He stated these were just anti-feminist groups and were scaring feminists and shouldn’t exist. Only his “men’s center” should. After stating how there are no abuse shelters for men, he very angrily protested my mention that men are half the victims of domestic violence and said the CDC study stating such was wrong. I’m sure he supports the other half of the statistic. He also mentioned that when men’s abuse shelters open, no one shows up. I’m sure he’d also say that when on campus there is just a dozen rape claims, that because women don’t come forth, there must not be a rape problem either. He is the “angry white man” he himself wrote about. I spoke calmly, while he replied in anger flailing his arms in my face until he called any truth I spoke of as “nonsense” and walked away.

        • Derek says

          If it says it’s male it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a man it may be a women or a non hetrosexual this would seem likely due to the content being discussed on the female bias.

      • I really wanted to see him at WOW festival to see if he really is as odious as his books make him seem but I was ill that weekend.

        Hopefully I won’t get another chance as he should be discredited soon.

      • Villa Lumi Koh Mak says

        To Gloria Steinem:

        A bicycle doesn’t need a fish, and a fish will be eaten by a pussy. Unless it finds something else to eat.

  3. Sarka says

    This piece depresses me in two ways. First, of course the spectacle of what passes these days for feminism in many universities and to some extent in liberal media discussion is dismaying. Back in the seventies and eighties I went to university and then taught in universities, and – as a woman and yes a feminist – I was pleased to see much of the real progress made as a result of feminist impulses….I was never a specialist in women’s history or feminist theories but I thought both (the best of it, anyway) were worth teaching, researching, exploring, and of course there were still plenty of basic fights to be fought against prejudice. Even at the time, though, I was uneasy about all this stuff being pursued as a separate “subject”…When I taught political theory, or social/cultural history I would bring in some coverage of feminist and anti-feminist texts and issues as part of this – these having been neglected in the past – and it seemed to me important that they should be integrated in this way – preserving a lot of space for proportion, discussion in larger context etc etc…I feared they would turn too ideological and cultic if considered institutionally and intellectually too much like “separate spheres”…. I was right to be worried, because this is what has happened – although obviously the whole hysterical development of this and other academic “identity-oppression” “disciplines” is fed by social changes broader than just changes in the academy itself. So – yeah – campus feminism (in staff not just students) has become cultic, decadent, frequently absurd and noxious.

    The second reason why this piece depresses me, though, is that the nature of the author’s objections to all this rubbish (and I agree it is rubbish), are themselves so cheap and compromised by “identity” emotional posturing, “check your privilegism” and so on.

    -The idea that “college” has been somehow deliberately keeping the gels in ignorance of the greater numbers of men in jails, or their greater suicide rates, and so on and so forth, is really just melodramatic crap. Any intelligent student with even the most minimal interest in the real world could not be “shielded” from this info as if by a totalitarian censorship system (“OMG, apparently men suffer more alcohol-related deaths than women! I never knew that! It was because the dean censored all the social-science journals and burned all the newspapers with reports about it!)
    – The idea that the best way to criticise cult pseudo-feminism is to adopt a mirror-image “oh poor men!” approach is symptomatic of a situation in which analysis of history and society (some part of it), has been supplanted by the pure “advocacy” of this or that group with regard to their oppression, victimhood etc…which rolls straight over all the interesting complicated stuff about how society works and how various kinds of advantage/disadvantage are interrelated.
    – The knee-jerk “oh the awful protected privileged middle-class females” line is also a bit cod, in a trendy modish way. I’m afraid this silly, mindless, pompous kind of feminism afflicts not only posh universities but also (often even more), educational institutions where many more of the students are not especially posh…and actually, it is quite a feature of “progressive” “feminists” today including on campus to constantly bang on about the evils of some alleged purely white middle-class self-interested feminism, and to conduct campaigns against insufficiently lefty or advanced “feminists” who are failing to check their privilege by prioritising the sufferings of blacks, or Muslims or whatever, in their discourses.

    So: I agree with the initial perception, but the subsequent argumentation and diagnosis is anything from weak to inane, and displays the sort of simple-mindedness that is pretty characteristic of the phenomenon criticised…

    • twominuteplank says

      Well said – feminism is becoming a toxic joke, and not by rational feminists like yourself. I would have far fewer issues with millennial feminism if more feminists called out third-wavers on their fetishization of victimhood, and on their obsession with infantilizing women by absolving them of the consequences of their choices.

      And thank you, Ms Airaksinen, for your excellent piece. I will be reposting this article many times, I’m sure!

    • Yandioodan says

      I think you miss the point.

      If you have upper class parents you will have immense privilege. In high school you will live a life of leisure with plentiful toys and a sporty new car. Your college will be ivy league. You will walk into a professional job and a trendy apartment. Your only contacts with someone bourgeois will be the office manager. Your only contact with the working poor will be the Hispanic woman who takes care of your kids. Your sole interaction with these women will be to give them orders. And you will complain about male privilege.

      Sarka, do you go shopping with your office manager? Do you take your Hispanic housekeeper for drinks after work? What are you doing to avoid piling on the load these women have to carry every day of their lives?

      Or do you complain that your housekeeper costs too much? Do you sneer at your office manager’s Walmart clothes, the only ones she can afford?

      Sarka, this is you.

    • Sarka, given the sophistication and verbiage of your response I do not doubt in the least that you are highly educated. Given this it’s unfortunate so much of your education was an apparent continual exercise in creating extensively wordy essays that sound profound, but don’t really say all that much. I’ve read scientific publications with more tact for their audience than this soliloquy of disagreement. If you think you’re reaching many people with this kind of response then I’d suggest your common circle of influence is woefully small.

    • While your disdain for ‘activist social change’ is understandable, you have to acknowledge the role of academia in it. It was academia that decided that social changes need not be studies, but be actively contributed to. *You* did that. *You* helped create a system where activists hold more power than common people. You did this because academia didn’t want to wait for change, it wanted to bring about change. Academia wanted to exercise power. How can you complain now when activism is the only tool left in the hands of public?

    • concerned cynic says

      “-The idea that “college” has been somehow deliberately keeping the gels in ignorance of the greater numbers of men in jails, or their greater suicide rates, and so on and so forth, is really just melodramatic crap. Any intelligent student with even the most minimal interest in the real world could not be “shielded” from this info as if by a totalitarian censorship system (“OMG, apparently men suffer more alcohol-related deaths than women! I never knew that! It was because the dean censored all the social-science journals and burned all the newspapers with reports about it!)”

      I taught social science in universities for 31 years. During that time, it became very clear that students pay attention to social facts only if their teachers underline those facts in their teaching. By remaining silent about certain data, I could make sure that students would not mention those data in their exams. In term papers, students never argued strongly from facts of a sort that I and the authors on the syllabus had not mentioned. In my experience, students tend to the sycophantic, for narrowly self-interested reasons. I am very confident that something similar has taken place in gender studies over the past 40 years: facts showing that some men face serious challenges and adversities are simply ignored, because they “derail the conversation”.

      • ron collins says

        For whatever it’s worth, I and the one other man were hooted out of a gender studies class on day one, in a community college in a conservative suburb, for one of us raising a hand after the syllabus lecture and politely asking “are men not a gender too?” I don’t remember the instructor’s exact wording (the room got very loud just then) but I remember that key word of leftist social theory, “inappropriate”, being used a time or three.

        This, was 1988. None of this is new: the rhetoric and theory have hardly changed at all, women are still portrayed as helpless victims in every way imaginable exactly as then, and just as now no one was noticing then either that women were dominating the narratives in most departments of academia, holding administrations hostage to potential lawsuits and Title IX outrage, and on top of that widely accepted as senior parents and heads of households. Then as now, “he must have done something to deserve it” worked for anything from parental alienation/paternal erasure to male homelessness and suicide. Then as now men were shouted down and laughed into silence for pointing out that sexism was no male monopoly. Then as now, “take back the night” took the place of claims of “rape culture” in raising the same distorted and exaggerated “concerns” for women’s safety.

        It’s so redundant and so identical to everything I’ve witnessed in half a century of gender war, that mostly I have decided that feminism is driven by women who despise being women, who think being male is about not being being stuck in a female body and therefore privileged, and that feminist activism and noise-making is mostly about portraying being a woman as being as tedious, dangerous and loathsome as possible so that femaleness itself may continue being treated as a disability.

        • ron collins says

          Just an afterthought: as sympathetic and altruistic toward men as this article tries to lean, granting us equality of victimhood is (intentionally or not) merely an extension of feminist narratives onto male reality.

          Both anti-feminist and men’s-rights materials in circulation today are characterized by this ideological shortcut. Yes, men and women both have legitimate grievances, but no, adopting a grievance-based world view is no answer for either.

          Concentrating instead on coexistence among the sexes, upholding each others’ strengths and protecting each others’ vulnerabilities with compassion and gallantry, will take us both much further in the direction of equal opportunities and equal degrees of respect as what we each are, than competing over which sex is the more downtrodden or focusing only on the hardships and setbacks either one experiences.

          Adopting what I call an “alter-feminist” approach, of extending maternalistic sympathies toward men only for the victim narratives, only perpetuates the Oppression Olympics settings so many of us seem to be getting tired of enduring.

          And runs hazardously close to matronizing condescension, in the bargain.

    • “…which rolls straight over all the interesting complicated stuff about how society works and how various kinds of advantage/disadvantage are interrelated.”

      To be fair to the author, I think part of the point is that without addressing the mundane facts about “men’s issues” we cannot get to the sophisticated discourse about how various forms of advantage/disadvantage are interrelated. It’s not that men are suffering (or not suffering) but that the potential angle of men’s suffering is not even considered, or worse, it’s seen as a position of deviance and potential misogyny. To me, this is the real problem. Universities should not enable our best and brightest to be sheltered from unpopular arguments. As people with the immense privilege of a post-secondary education, they have a responsibility to understand a wide range of perspectives, including those that they may see as odious or damaging. Saying that something is “not my problem” ought to find someone their way to an F, or at best a low C. No – you got into the discourse about equality for a reason and that means you have to consider the ways that reality does not match the theory. Otherwise, you are not studying theory at all and therefore are failing at the discipline.

  4. There’s only one way to respond to this type of identity silliness at Barnard. The Bitfu Address to Incoming Freshpersons.

    And it goes a little somethin’ like this:

    $50k a year. The tuition at Barnard is $50,000 per year. Yes, you heard me: That’s a Fifty followed by Three Zeroes. And that’s for each year. That’s right–We’re talkin’ $200,000 for a degree from Barnard. TWO-HUNDRED-THOUSAND-DOLLARS for a garden-variety bachelors degree. And I haven’t even included room and board. You’re going to need to tack on another $20k per year for that. By the time you leave Barnard you’ll be out almost THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!. Do you get what I’m saying here? $300,000 for a degree from Barnard?! You’ve been fleeced. And the profs pushing feminism are doing this for one reason, and one reason only: To distract you… while they rape you.

    • twominuteplank says

      It also goes a little somethin’ like this: If you come from a background in which you can afford a quarter-million dollar BA, I don’t care what your gender or skin colour may be – you are enjoying an immeasurable level of privilege. You are in no way oppressed or marginalized.

      • Didn’t Dawkins get uninvited from a Feminist conference over a tweet virtually identical to this thought, for it being “misogynistic”?

  5. “So: I agree with the initial perception, but the subsequent argumentation and diagnosis is anything from weak to inane, and displays the sort of simple-mindedness that is pretty characteristic of the phenomenon criticised…”

    There are two ways to deal with this.

    (1) To adopt the premises, rhetorics, and overall style of the “bad” system (of thought and feeling), in order to establish balance and thus weaken its impact. In other words, you wield the evil thing and turn it against itself, producing a kind of deadlock.

    (2) Reject the premises, rhetorics, and overall stylee of the bad system, and try to replace it. Is that a more promising approach? Outline that, because that’s not just weak and inane. it’s absent, in your text.

  6. The human species is tremendously successful.
    There is nothing more wide spread, other than things that have learned to live off us.

    One key to success is the
    response to stress.
    As Shelley Taylor found, published in her 2000 paper, the gender specific response to stress is huge.
    Additionally, it appears that the differentiation of the male brain begins by attenuating the regions that respond to stress at 7-8 months of gestation so that most males
    this is a Gaussian distribution function, everyone’s mileage will vary
    are much less responsive to stress than are fetuses that continue the unmodified course.

    Thus, “winning isn’t everything, it is the only thing” for a major part of the population.

    The world is full of stress, getting to Alpha Centauri, for our kids to have room, will be very stressful.
    => We need to be confident and manage stress,
    not avoid it by getting males to demand a “safe space” or to “protect us”

  7. Apostasy! heathen! You shall burn in the fiery pits of the patriarchy, slaving as their toy for eternity.

    All kidding aside… I have often wondered, even asked… if feminism isn’t willing to take an honest look at…to take an honest measure, at where men stand in society… what exactly are they striving to be equal too?

    • Estwald says

      Everyone will ultimately become equal to each other when they are dead.

    • I believe men have lost their role definitions and women’s expectations due to the movement. It has it’s purpose to equalize the sexes not dominate one or the other. I am looking to create a space for men to find that balance. In studying the last 4 generational shifts, as well as the absentee parent phenomena, it is no wonder men are on both sides of these extremes mentioned above. My struggle in creating this space is… how to draw men into this conversation?

      • ” It has it’s purpose to equalize the sexes not dominate one or the other. ”

        No. It presumes (falsely) that men have always dominated, and that now women should have “our turn.” Neither is true.

        You will draw two different kinds of men into this conversation by doing two very different things. One will be to pander to the white knights’ gynocentrism by condescendingly “forgiving” a handful of One Good Man types for having been born male. This is the usual feminist tactic. If you are intelligent you won’t think much of the men who will engage with you.
        The other is to recognize that Patriarchy Theory is a bigoted lie. There is no such thing as “toxic masculinity;” toxic character traits are not sex specific. Men have never had more power than women; they have had nominal power (accompanied by immutable obligations to protect and provide for women at any cost) which was well balanced by women’s “soft” power (epitomized by the hand that rocks the cradle.) Feminists invented Patriarchy Theory, and in doing so erased all historic vestiges of female power, turning women into inevitable perpetual victims and turning men into inevitable perpetual oppressors. And society is gynocentric enough that we accepted this myth unquestioned, out of our natural concern for the well being of women. Ironic, isn’t it? Unlearn it. Reject it and start treating men as if they’re not inherently defective, with a few heroic ones capable of overcoming their presumed “disability.” Also, listen. When they speak, don’t add your female perspective or interpretation. Encourage them to expand on their thoughts but don’t be surprised if they see no need to. Chances are they already said what they meant but you didn’t catch it the first time. Most women don’t.

      • Men don’t want a conversation.

        Every conversation they’ve been in since they could speak has revolved around women. Even when “caring women” come to them to ask them about their lives and their stresses and their concerns, the women seem to be in it for their own self-satisfaction.

        That’s a broad generalization that doesn’t really mean ALL women, but it does make a point. I’ve had far too many circular conversations with “caring” women that offer no comfort, no progress, no resolutions, and always seem intended to keep me in the All Important Conversation to engage in another. It’s a waste of time.

        I don’t want to talk about my “feels” while being made captive to a woman’s desire to talk to me. I want to be able to choose the course of my life without having to walk through a legal and societal gauntlet trough which my every word and action will be misconstrued, dramatized, and intentionally viewed through a negative lens (no matter how far one has to stretch to see it that way) while I’m expected to accept all misconceptions as true and to apologize for every single made-up “infraction” against any particular woman (and, by extension, EVERY woman) and, sometimes, to pay for the “privilege” of receiving this abuse.

        If you want to help men don’t seek to engage them in any more conversations, just work towards changing the laws and social perceptions that take advantage of them and make them the convenient scapegoat for anything and everything that happens to women regardless of their lack of involvement or without considering the women’s behavior and choices.

        I don’t want to talk about it. I want to be left alone to live my life and raise my child in peace without having to place myself on display and at the whim of those who have proven that their primary interest is to use me to garner social praise or deference and material gains while providing themselves with excuses and justifications for their degrading and unjust treatment of me.

        It’s risky for men to talk at all, and asking them to talk to a woman at a point when their life is probably on shaky ground because of a woman isn’t going to inspire any trust in them.

        Work towards changing the processes through which men are abused. Talk is cheap (but, for men, talking is a wasted effort, and it’s often a costly expense and a risky bet which places them under many eager thumbs.)

        If you have no idea what concerns men have, you aren’t looking at all. It’s all over the web. Look at Karen Straughn’s videos, or videos by Sandman. Go to AVfM or Relating to Men. Read about the upcoming Red Pill movie. I don’t agree with everything I find online, but it’ll certainly give you an idea of what men are thinking.

        One other thing:

        Men are tired of being expected (forced) to live up to women’s expectations because those expectations are often very demeaning, petty, and contradicting (and any efforts to accommodate women are routinely discounted and turned into offenses in order to justify more shaming and criticism, and to build even more hoops for men to stumble through while being scoffed at for their feeble “performance.”)

        No thanks.

  8. Tomi says

    Toni is a man’s name in Finnish (Airaksinen is a Finnish surname). Confusing. But I assume she’s she because she went to a women’s college.

    Anyways, it’s nice that you, Toni, have become aware of certain issues men face. Keep on studying and one day you’ll realize that men ‘s quality of life is worse by almost all indicators. Here are a few: men live in worse neighborhoods because of discrimination, men face more violence (also in homes), men work longer hours and have less free time, for every charity for men or boys there are about 50 for women and girls (this was an educated guess but the difference is huge), men are less happy, it’s much harder for a young man to find a job, men die younger and nevertheless women’s health issues are studied and financed much more, female teachers give boys on average lower grades …

    • Brian Kemp says

      It’s entirely possible that Toni, a female name in the US, is descended from Finnish people… but you forget that there are hundreds of thousands of people in the US with last names that don’t match their first names. The author has a Finnish last name, so she must be Finnish! How silly.

    • Villa Lumi Koh Mak says

      As a matter of fact “Toni” is a female name also in Finland, for example Toni Lähteenmäki, a female singer (famous at 1980’s).

  9. Gary says

    Great piece.
    I do have to say though: did you really expect a women’s college would give you a realistic view of the world?
    I agree with most of what you say. Although a few things sound a bit off. More likely to be victim to domestic violence? Well no, you’re not just a blank slate victim as feminists want you to be.
    You can almost entirely cut your risk of domestic violence by just learning what men are like and knowing which ones might be a risk. Rape is a bit tougher but generally you can do a lot to cut down your chances of that happening too by just acting smart. Feminists deliberately ignore all of these types of advice and call it “victim blaming” (even though it’s quite clearly “victim prevention”) because they want an explanation that gives them a reason for more political power.

    • Ken says

      Hi Gary, some questions.

      Firstly, I’m not sure what you mean, so could you elaborate on what you think “men are like”, and which ones are a risk? What should women look out for?

      Secondly, how should a woman “act smart”? Asking since I’ve seen women who acted perfectly smart all the time, to me, but men still raped them, so do let me know if you have some tips I can pass on to them.

      Thirdly, I would probably like to tell you that I know very different women who act in very different ways. I haven’t been able to pin down a behaviour that makes men want to rape women, so to me, it seems that men want to rape women by pure virtue of them being women. How should I deal with this problem?

    • Kate says

      Well I thought that was going to be good until it went gross.

      I know what you mean by “acting smart’ she shouldn’t have gotten so drunk, she shouldn’t have worn a skirt, she shouldn’t have done blah blah blah. So if I see a man or woman that is fall down drunk and I go up to them with a strap on or even use my fingers to violate them how is that my fault? THEY shouldn’t have been so drunk, right? Just like if I go up to someones car and steal it because they parked it where I didn’t want them to that’s their fault right? Or if a man gets raped and he’s drunk at a party was it his fault? or should the perpetrator go to jail for violating a human being? If you don’t think men can be raped, kindly crawl back into the stone age where you belong.

      Also as Ken mentioned how do men act? I’m sure you’re one of the ones when a man does something and people go crazy you’re right in there holding a “not all men” sign and yet you generalize by saying “just know what men are like” I’m sure what you meant to say was “when you’re with someone and they start doing behaving abusively to bail out immediately before it gets worse”

      And yes when you place the blame on someone for another person who has wronged them then you are “victim blaming” there is a very clear line between personal responsibility and other people just being scum.

      • Ian Hamlett says

        There are things you can do to reduce the risk of being a victim of crime.
        You are not responsible for the criminal behaviour of others but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take reasonable precautions to reduce risk.

  10. rabbit says

    A beautifully thought out and written piece, nicely supported by evidence.

    It is, however, not published in the best forum. To make a difference, Airkensinen will have to stick her hand in the bee’s nest and publish her opinions where the audience is likely to be far more hostile to her ideas.

  11. I am curious to know what the author’s experience of Barnard will be like, once this article starts making the rounds on campus. Given the intensity of the indoctrination effort at Barnard, I am interested to know if Ms. Airaksinen will suffer any blowback, and whether that will change her mind about attending Barnard?

    • Yandoodan says

      Perhaps she will post another article in Quillette. I would be very interested in it.

  12. It sounds to me as though some of your fellow students have been redefining the word “feminism” to suit their own agenda. All feminism is is the belief that men and women should be treated equally in all areas of society. It’s called feminism because on the whole more is needed to be done to achieve equality for women than for men, but that does not mean it takes no heed of the injustices that men face. There isn’t a difference between feminism and humanism. You’re right not to agree with some of what your fellow students are saying, but instead of writing about feminism as though it’s the issue, you should be writing about what a big problem it is that so many people are misinterpreting the word and how damaging that is for both genders. Feminism is about absolute and equality to for everyone, no matter what gender they. Don’t allow yourself to denounce this brilliant conviction just because those around you a misusing its name. If you believe in equality you’re a feminist. That’s what you should tell them at college.

    • Sumone says

      That hasn’t been true for a while now. Whatever else you can say about feminism, it isn’t about gender equality in any meaningful sense. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg for example has said that she wants every single supreme court judge to be a woman, and this quote is very popular in feminist media. You can find the same kind of hypocrisy in feminist approaches to any topic: moral double standards, preferential treatment and ‘more than equality of outcome’ are justified as necessary to smash the patriarchy. Equality would mean mutual respect and tolerance for everyone, praising the inherent worth of men and women, equality before the law, rejection of all kinds of chauvinism and so on – that’s emphatically not what feminism is about. Just take a cursory glance at a website like Jezebel if any confirmation is needed.

    • Drunicusrex says

      No. Listen to what leading feminist scholars and activists actually say, and do, and the policies for which they advocate.

      No published feminist academic, nor any leading feminist, has ever said anything positive about men.

      Most feminists portray men as rapists, abusers, and oppressors – hence the term “rape culture.” Most feminists see male sexuality as shameful, destructive, and dirty – while female sexuality is to be celebrated, and consequence free.

      Most feminists make no bones about their man hating. You need look on Google for about 10 seconds to find extensive quotes – from feminists themselves – that are chock full of slander, abuse, vitriol, and gender based hate.

      It’s ridiculous to say feminism is simply about “equal gender rights.” By that definition, nearly everyone is a feminist – except for feminists themselves, who believe men should have FEWER rights than women.

      Feminism is the belief that men are the cause of all of society’s ills, and should therefore be punished or disadvantaged whenever possible.
      Feminism is, simply put, a hate group.

    • N: “All feminism is is the belief that men and women should be treated equally in all areas of society. It’s called feminism because on the whole more is needed to be done to achieve equality for women than for men, but that does not mean it takes no heed of the injustices that men face. There isn’t a difference between feminism and humanism. ”

      The term only makes sense when used in an empirical sense. Feminism (three elements), empirically:

      (1) There are no significant evolved psychological sex differences
      (2) Women are more disadvantaged than men
      (3) Some kind of pseudo-egalitarianism (self-serving left wing)

      Your “being treated equally in all things” is useless. It only makes sense when one specifies an assumption of differences/sameness. Your “women are more disadvantaged” is not a given. That’s your personal feeling. How do you propose to measure it objectively?

    • Mark Dent says

      Feminism has never been about equality. It has always been about female privilege and entitlement. To suggest otherwise is simply ridiculous given the decades of entitlements sought and won by feminists and their opposition to any moves to support men be it in the area of domestic violence, the Family Court and their complete apathy with regard to male suicide rates, homelessness, men’s health , workplace death and injury and the plummeting numbers of males entering universities.

    • Estwald says

      “…men and women should be treated equally…”
      Who determines what “equally” consists of?

      “…more is needed to be done to achieve equality for women than for men…”
      …so it is – self servingly – claimed.

    • Estwald says

      “…men and women should be treated equally…”
      Who decides what circumstances constitute “equality”?

      “…more is needed to be done to achieve equality for women than for men…”
      …so it is self-servingly claimed.

    • Most folk judge a movement by its actions. You can claim feminism is about equality but society sees the endless blaming men for all problems and absolving women of accountability for their own decisions and actions. We’ve seen feminism systematically demanding women be elevated above all others (men, children, elderly, disabled, etc.) Insisting on women only food lines in disaster struck zones is not humanism. Not even close.

  13. Pingback: Female student realized her gender privilege 'once I took off my feminist blinders' - The College Fix

  14. If every woman felt this way, it would still be too little, too late. Too many men have seen how much women hate them and little women value them. Civilization was built by men: its laws, its infrastructure, its art…
    And do we get acknowledgement?
    Nope.
    We’re told at, best, that, maybe, possibly, we might not be monsters.

    Some day, enough men will stop taking care of women for women to notice. That day will be amusing, in a karmic sense.

    • John Smith says

      It’s already happening. More and more, male mentors are steadfastly refusing to take on junior female mentees in the workplace because of the very real fear of being made the target of false accusations.

      The female accuser’s accusation is almost taken as sancrosanct and the male accused is regarded as guilty until proven innocent.

      Congratulations 3rd wave feminism, you’ve now created your own impediment to your progress in the workforce.

    • MGTOW is growing fast. Be afraid ladies, be very afraid. You are on the verge of getting what you asked for.- in spades.

    • Kate says

      Because women weren’t allowed to do a lot of that shit because women were seen as the weaker sex? and it’s called history men pretty much wrote the damn thing save for a few women cause again women=weaker sex who cant do fuck all or let alone think for themselves. Good for you, good job for being a part of the gender that did all of that. Did you do it? nope, you get no credit. You do however get a swift kick in the nuts for being a man and that’s obviously wrong but to ask for something on one: you didnt do you just happen to be apart of the gender that did it, is ridiculous; Two: The women you surround yourself with need to go and you need to find women who aren’t so blind as to think men are monsters because you’re not. People CAN be monsters, being bad isn’t pertained to one sex. Maybe you should apply that theory to women as well. Ooh look at me with my “not all women” sign. Sadly I think it’s needed in this case.

  15. The problem is deeper than that. Unfortunately, a fair portion of feminist writing is devoted to speculative claims about male thinking and intentions which refuse to take into account men’s own self-understanding. In other words, “woman-splaining” of male minds.

    • Yeah Nope says

      Indeed, the feminist hypocrisy is staggering when you consider their demands that men and masculinity conform to feminist ideals in one breath, while in the other they tell men to sit down and shut when it comes to “women’s issues”.

      Feminists apparently believe men are incapable of even basic level comprehension of how something affects women, but they themselves understand every facet of men and masculinity, therefor they are the best people to dictate societal operation.

      tl;dr
      Feminists on:
      Issues affecting women: No place for men to have an opinion.
      Issues affecting men: Let us tell you how you are wrong, and masculinity is toxic, and it’s all the result of patriarchy.

  16. Robert says

    It makes me happy to hear when someone priveleged enough to be in academia does their own research in other parts of the world, on the street, and actually talks to men. Many people are content to limit who they talk to such that they can never get a balanced perspective on things. A divided social fabric is the most susceptible to dogma, doctrines, brainwashing.

  17. Omega Man says

    Want equality? Send the ladies into combat fighting ISIS. When a third or half of those not killed outright come back with faces, arms or legs blown off then perhaps equality will have finally been achieved. When the ammunition runs out and the radio is broken, will the gals have the upper hand in the vicious bayonet fight which is sure to follow? True equality is not achieved by access to the C-suite, rather it is achieved by partaking in the often dirty and dangerous tasks that men are expected to perform as a matter of course.

    • Just a Guy says

      Exactly. Why aren’t feminists fighting to have more women miners, hazardous waste disposal technicians, etc.?

      It’s not about equality. It’s about female advantage with male disadvantage and a double standard in favor of women.

      If a guy has it tough, he’s supposed to buck up, take it like a man, be a man, etc. A women is supposed to be given equal treatment but when she has it tough, men and the system come to her rescue.

      Aren’t feminists supposed to be empowered and capable of doing anything a man can do?! The feminist narrative is that women are strong but still need the protection and help. What a joke!

    • Beast of Jekyll Island says

      I’ve laid out a similar and simple challenge for the “feminist = equalist” crowd: I’ll believe it’s true equality and not just “more of the good stuff for us” when you’re out there campaigning for women being 51% of the drivers of honey wagons (that is, those trucks used to service portable toilets).

    • Kate says

      Umm they already do? have you not seen the amputee women in the military? get your head out of your ass. What good does it do to disparage one sex in revenge of your own being disparaged? Jesus no wonder were all still at each others throats.

  18. @Sarka: you make some valid points.
    However, Airaksinen’s piece is actually about the clearly visible intention to brain-wash students. This attempt may not be 100% successful, in fact it failed in the case of Airaksinen, but that is irrelevant. The intention to brain-wash students is a scandal, no matter how successful.

  19. Melissa says

    The good news is that most women and men don’t subscribe to the highly polarized views of contemporary feminism.

    The bad news is that concerted victim politics has somewhat warped the legal system so that the power of the state is unfairly used against men. We’ve seen the stacking of the deck in college sexual assault proceedings, but it goes well beyond college.

    The Gregory Elliott twitter trial is one such example of feminist attacks on men through the courts.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R_v_Elliott

    Mr. Elliott was facing prison time for simply disagreeing online with feminists. The judge saw through the charade, but he lost his livelihood and had to spend tens of thousands of dollars to defend himself against a criminal prosecution.

    • “The good news is that most women and men don’t subscribe to the highly polarized views of contemporary feminism.”

      That’s true but senior government ranks, the mainstream media and academic is riddled with feminists. We can’t afford to ignore them – they are powerful and they are dangerous.

  20. Dr. Val says

    Feminism has degenerated into the debilitation of men that is carried out under the false banner of “equality”. If someone claims that feminism is about equality – they are LYING to your face knowingly, and not out of ignorance, but out of pure malice.

    Even the president is applauded for repeating the LIES of feminism about every fifth woman being raped in a college and the lie of the gender pay gap, that has nothing to do with mythical institutional sexism and everything to do with women personally making different life choices from men – like choosing low pay/low stress jobs (becoming a nurse instead of becoming a surgeon).

    Feminism has for decades worked to destroy the institutions of nuclear family and marriage, while mudding the issues with insidious messages of women fighting for more rights and glorifying the cancer of single motherhood. 85% of black homicide victims being male is in fact the direct result of the single motherhood and absent fathers inside the black community – those absent fathers, who themselves where once boys who were raised by single mothers and never had a positive father figure in their lives to begin with.

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  22. PMT says

    Am I the only one who double checked to ensure that ‘Toni Airaksinen’ was not a spoof anagram of ‘Anita Sarkeesian’, it is still April after all.

  23. Feminism has always been a hate movement right from the start. When you drill in to the feminist theory that gender studies classes often base their material, there is a very present sexism that spreads through everything do with feminism.

    If that wasn’t enough look at their actions and you repeated examples of mob culture being the go to approach to try and silence people with different opinions.

    These are not the actions of an equality movement but of a supremacy movement and thats why feminism is slowly dying. Year after year more and more people are supporting mens rights groups after seeing the type of vile and often mentally ill people align with feminism.

  24. Greggore says

    Excellent piece. I could just imagine the toxic environment that you are going to school in. I’m not sure why so many Universities have adopted feminism as the default ideology as it has been known for years that lies and propaganda have been pushed through women studies. Back in the late 80’s I tried to take a women in religion course at Queens University (1 of 5 men in the class of about 45) and after a month I had to drop the class. I told the prof that I just couldn’t stay in the class anymore and she seemed genuinely sad that I was leaving the class. I told her that there was no real discussion in the class, no way for me or the other males in the class to hold an opinion and every class the tension and hostility towards (3 men at this point) the remaining men was just too much to sit through. 4 weeks I lasted….. the hatred, bullying and uncomfortable environment was just unbearable.

    I’ve worked in kitchens with convicts waving knives around and high on crack or hash…..I felt safer in that environment than I did in my women in religion class…a total of 12 hours. That was 28 years ago. I can only imagine what it’s like now.

  25. In the future men seeking prospective life partners will be looking at academic backgrounds. Unless the man is himself a Cultural Marxist/male feminist, any gender studies courses that turn up will become an automatic disqualification. I hope these women really like cats, cause they’re going to die alone with them.

  26. ” I’ve learned that while being a female puts me at a higher risk of facing rape and domestic violence,”

    It doesn’t. It puts you at “higher risk” however, for having authorities and the public in general acknowledge you as a victim of these crimes. As a female victim of these crimes you are far less likely to be blamed, and the crimes themselves are far more likely to be prosecuted.

    Keep looking. You’re learning.

  27. Asya Hristova says

    I do appreciate this article. However, it fails to address that although there are significantly less females that are homeless, the number of women being victims of human trafficking and rape outnumbers males. In addition, many of the “privileges” that Airaksinen addresses are not supported by real data and also women’s colleges are actually filled with mostly minorities, as opposed to her statement “upper-middle class” and are usually private colleges, which means most of the students that graduate are in debt. “Living in a bubble” is another issue. The purpose of all women’s colleges isn’t to segregate ourselves from the world, it’s to empower ourselves. Facts show that teachers are more likely to call on male students, leaving many women to feel like their opinion is less important. Women’s colleges give opportunities for women to be in leadership positions, empower one another, and primarily learn how to lead conversations in male dominated fields.
    I didn’t enjoy the article too much, but I appreciate the closing statement. Stereotypes and inequality is a real issue in both genders, but we must not put one gender over the other. That’s what feminism is all about, equality.

    • Greggore says

      @ Asya – “women being victims of human trafficking” – Actually no. Human trafficking for sex work includes boys, however human trafficking by far is not dominated by sex workers. The vast majority is slave labor and boy soldiers.

      Your heart is in the right place,but you need to expand beyond feminist ideology to see the whole picture.

      it’s not patriarchy that rules the world, it’s the ruling class and the ruling class is done by both men and women. patriarchy is just a smoke screen to keep people off their backs.

  28. @Aysa

    “human trafficking” Have you looked into things such as fishing slavery? http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/27/world/outlaw-ocean-thailand-fishing-sea-slaves-pets.html?_r=0

    “The purpose of all women’s colleges isn’t to segregate ourselves from the world, it’s to empower ourselves.” Picturing you, saying that with gravitas, makes me smile. By the way, how do you learn talking to men, when there aren’t any? Do you practice with dolls?

  29. Emelio Lizardo says

    “… while being a female puts me at a higher risk of facing rape and domestic violence, it also has served as a shield against street violence, homelessness, poverty, academic failure, functional illiteracy, gun violence, and involvement in the criminal justice system.”

    The author discovers the “Glass Cellar”, where women look down upon most of men.

    Strikingly similar to biology, women occupy the middle area being protected and limited. Men have no protections, much responsibility, and fewer limits. This is to insure families succeed and to destroy sub par men.

  30. borabosna says

    Oh no, the dictionary definition argument strikes again!

    Feminism has NEVER been about equality, since all the way back in 1848 Seneca Falls Convention, which 40 men in support of women’s causes were turned away from attending; and the Declaration of Sentiments, which list all the grievances of women as “He…” does this to us, “He…” does that to us rather than “the system” or “the state” etc.

    Feminism has always been a racist, sexist hate movement. Since 1848, possibly even earlier. Read “White Women’s Rights: Racial Origins of Feminism in the United States” by Louise Michele Newman (a feminist) and “The Fraud of Feminism” and “The Legal Subjection of Men” by Ernest Belford Bax.

  31. As #TransWomenAgainstFeminism I am aware of both sides of the gender divide, but I am so happy to see that cis women too are waking up to the duplicity of feminism. :o)

  32. Feminism started because a group of women wanted the vote. They wanted the same rights that men had. That’s not a fight for superiority, that’s a fight for equality. Yes I am aware of the ridiculous things that have been said and done under the name of feminism and ye I think it’s wrong, but you have to understand that these people are twisting the feminist movement to suit their own ideology. By calling what they’re doing feminism you’re letting them win. If you believe in gender equality don’t denounce feminism, fight for it. Fight to restore it back to its true meaning. There are plenty of prominent feminists who fight for male rights as well as female, you’re just choosing to ignore them to fit your argument. Real feminists love men. Plenty of real feminists are men. That’s the way it should be. Don’t give credibility to anyone who says otherwise by calling what they say feminism.

    • ljc says

      “Feminism started because a group of women wanted the vote. They wanted the same rights that men had”
      At that time a lot of men didn’t have the right to vote either but were still called upon by the likes of Emmeline Pankhurst to “do their duty and fight to defend women”.
      That is not equality, that is a sense of entitlment.

  33. Narayani says

    If males are more prone to gang violence, drug problems, mugging, assaults, those are problems of their own creation. Men created the problems, and them being a victim of them – why is that so surprising? You stew in the crap created by you.

    • Narayani,

      Why is that same reasoning not applied to females and the “stews” they find themselves in?

        • Oh, that’s right… Women are sugar and spice, and everything nice, while men are snips and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails.

          Except they’re not, and they’re not. This is just a way to pass responsibility onto men for anything negative that’s done to women, or that they do to themselves or others. Women are beyond reproach in any circumstance, while men are always at fault.

          Women (girls) like to tell themselves this (and variations such as The Patriarchy myth and many other feminist talking points with no basis in reality) to feel special, and to broadcast it to others in order to gain attention and privilege.

          The only people who indulge and foster this myth are trying to get on the bandwagon, trying to avoid being deemed “bad” by those on the bandwagon, or trying to take advantage of the wagon riders. Of course, this means the wagon-riders are the center of attention, which they really enjoy!

          The wheels of the bandwagon are comprised of perpetuated myths, and its momentum is determined by how little friction exists between those who ride, and those who seek to dispel the myths or dismantle or disregard the bandwagon. This is why so many tactics are employed to shout down and shut out those who disagree with the word and deeds of The Almighty Wagoneers (even to the point of trying to make disagreement with those myths, or with those who use them to create privilege for themselves, a crime.) “Don’t upset my applecart!”

          Men and women are both guilty of violence and rape, and women throughout history have committed vicious crimes, just as men have. It’s an impulse that occurs in both men and women. You may find more prevalence of rape perpetrated by males against females, but you’ll also find many more females killing and abusing children than males. And, rape is rape no mater who does it, or who it’s done to, just as murder is murder, no matter who does it or who it’s done to.

          I’d say that the violence one uses finds the outlet of least resistance (least repercussions and easiest to perform) and that the outlet differs from male to female and person to person, and it’s also predicated on their needs and desires which would be different depending upon whether your male or female. The reason the rape culture meme is so insidious to me is that rape has always been considered a heinous crime, and it’s also been one of the most convenient ways to “take down” men because women are so readily believed.

          Funny how the more women were required to provide evidence of a crime, the more they (feminists) pushed for less evidence to be necessary and for women to be believed no matter what, all while claiming to seek equality and fairness. They want their cake, and to eat mens cake as well (and to force men to make that cake while “sisters” look on and laugh with malicious glee! “Ohhh, Can I play too?” “There’s a big meany man to mess with; get him!”)

          I’d guess you hold the belief that all bad things done by women towards men can be traced back to being initiated or inspired as a direct result of the actions of some evil man somewhere, but you’d be wrong (perhaps some, but certainly not all, and the same could be said when considering violence from males to females.) People inclined towards negativity and violence are the way they are, and they should be held appropriately accountable regardless of whether they’re male or female.

          You might also consider that an established social and legal umbrella that shields females from repercussions for any abuse they inflict upon males has the potential to increase violence from females towards males and, when that umbrella also provides positive support and attention when females claim they’ve been abused by males, it will also increase the amount of false accusations because females are so readily believed. It breeds a culture of victimhood in which females will strive to position themselves as victims because they’re provided with social attention and praise, and occasionally financial gains. They’re also protected from any scrutiny or criticism when holes are found in their stories.

          In case you hadn’t noticed, women have been becoming more violent over the last several decades (and not just towards men, but towards other women as well.) What’s worse than the violence is the revelry surrounding it. It’s just so much fun to bash men!

          It’s strange to me that people who engage in this violence and revelry cannot see how they’ve allowed themselves to be conditioned to participate in, and to accept (even champion) violence when men are the ones on the receiving end. If you don’t think this colors how men view women (or if you question whether it SHOULD color their view because men “deserve it”) you’ve been far more victimized by the messages you’ve adapted to than you have by any man.

          Women are being trained to fit themselves into a victim narrative in order to find comfort, privilege, praise, and even an outlet for their own violent and abusive intentions. They’re also being trained to see men as inherently bad and women as inherently good. This seems to have become the basis of many young women’s identities, and we’ve also seen a sharp increase in narcissism among females. Do you suppose this is a positive thing?

          This type of conditioning can only have detrimental effects on relations between men and women, and on the evolution of female (and male) individuals. An accepted (and socially/legally enforced) distortion of reality that provides avenues for abuse from one group to another leads to more violence and distrust/discord, not less.

          It would seem to me that the best thing anyone could do would be to teach/train people of both sexes to be respectful of each other and refrain from defining one as THIS and the other as THAT, and to value their own strengths while remaining aware of their weaknesses so they can evolve and improve themselves while maintaining respectful and considerate relations with others.

          Feminism tries to frame itself as having that goal, but their actual goal seems to be to position themselves (not women as a whole mind you, just the feminists) as the arbiters of any and all social and legal determinations and make themselves exempt from any type of socially responsible standards of behavior. They can run their mouths and run rampant while claiming superiority and taking whatever they like or desire from anyone they whimsically wish to punish without any sort of social chastisement or legal repercussions.

          Umm…. That doesn’t really fit the dictionary definition, does it?

          The only way we’ll move beyond all this nonsense and live up to what we humans can be, both as our individual selves within a productive and responsible community which fosters growth and respect, and as a species with boundless potential that’s routinely (and cheerfully with sneering smugness!) squandered.

          It’s a choice we have to make together, which means considering all aspects of the issues without bias or intentional disregard of inconvenient facts, and without viewing every consideration through ideological glasses while placing our fingers in our ears and screeching.

        • Women generally have been raising children for a long time, moulding boys and girls separately into how they wanted adults to be. For instance boys having to suppress their girly and feminine sides, and boys to respect women but invariably not girls to respect men.

        • Nara,

          I think it’s just a problem of communication. Put in your words: “you’re a sexist victim blamer who perpetuates men’s peforming the killing of men (kill culture).”

  34. More and more women are against feminism, reckoning that it’s too aggressive towards men, and not relevant now.

    The feminists are too busy playing the victim to see how privileged women generally are in at least the west.

    Invariably if a woman brings up women’s rights, equality, liberation she gets praised and liked. Invariably if a man brings up men’s rights, equality, liberation he gets contempt. Double standards.

    Meantime, women’s issues at least in the west have been in the spotlight since around 1900, men’s haven’t. Specific men’s yes, but not men as a whole. Also, the pendulum is swinging too much in favour of women. Many people aren’t even conditioned to see those.

  35. EliseMarie says

    I’ll start by addressing the closing statement:
    “The failure of schools to engender an awareness of male issues in students is harmful. How can we create a truly equal society when male-specific issues aren’t just ignored, but laughed at?”
    I agree this this closing statement. But why is this article proposing that Feminism is bad?
    Both Feminism and the need to consider the struggles of men are important. They’re not mutually exclusive.
    Further, this writer is allowing specific encounters with individuals at her school to determine almost her WHOLE VIEW ON FEMINISM. Now THAT is ridiculous. Just because some classmates say stupid things or laugh at the plight of men, doesn’t mean that they represent Feminists or understand Feminism.
    She includes: “Are women so smothered by the blanket of victimhood that we can’t concede that men face issues too?”

    The answer is NO. But if this is the way that Sophomores at her college discuss and confront issues of inequality and feminism, I suggest she steep herself in other (more legitimate and informed) feminist influences.

    It sounds like the issue here isn’t simply Feminism. It’s the way that Feminism is being used as a weapon toward men among her peers. This narrative is NOT reflective of feminism everywhere and should not be used as a guide.

    She says: “Thus, colleges need to actively incorporate men’s issues into their curriculum.”
    Perhaps, but is this really the answer? Or is the negative rhetoric about men and the way feminism is being used as a weapon the real issue?
    In that vain, it would have to also make sense to incorporate the “issues” of “Caucasian people” and “straight” people when teaching about diversity issues of race and sexuality? Which, quite frankly isn’t the point when teaching about power differentials. The POINT is to focus on the power differential between marginalized/vulnerable groups and groups of people who hold the majority of the political and social power.
    It sounds like she wants to change the way that her classmates and college culture use feminism to deny men’s issues. That’s a culture shift. I’m not sure that adding into the curriculum is the way to go.
    I guess discussing the “why” behind these issues being more prevalent for men wouldn’t be harmful. But I think that’s more of a social science discussion, not a privilege/power one. And certainly not an excuse to deny the need for feminism ideals.
    She states: “Feminist boosterism can make us feel empowered. This is good; I too love when I am told I am special and powerful.”
    This is really insulting. Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.
    It’s not meant to make us feel “special and powerful”. It’s about equality.
    She says:
    “The last time I brought this up in a conversation, a white feminist scoffed and said “well that’s their fault,” which implied that victims of gang violence somehow deserved it.”

    Again, I would urge her not to allow this to inform your ideas about feminism generally. That was a RIDICULOUS response, and in NO WAY represents the theory behind feminism and the necessity for feminism ideals.

    If she was talking with a group men and one man said “all women who are abused deserve it” would she walk away thinking that’s how all men think???? Certainly not.

    • Elisemarie I would put to you that she is talking about the academic feminism she is being taught in school, as opposed to equity feminism. My experience with equity feminism has much less feminist “ideology” attached, and as such, well, she is being fairly clear about the nature she is discussing, also gender feminism, is what is in effect being taught in many schools and has nothing to do with the equity feminism my mother espoused, it is instead a version of hate, that has little to do with the initial goals of feminism. However, it is the type that is being in effect practiced in policy at the edges.

  36. The funny thing is that the student that said this was not her issue, clearly never intends to have a mate, who will be able to contribute financially, sons who are able to move into the world etc.

    This approach has increasingly meant that the very women screaming, have not looked at the reality of the situation on the ground and rely increasingly on studies that require distorted comparisons to sustain their positions. They chose to actively ignore choice by other women, and its impact on earnings – a woman who chooses to be a primary care giver sacrifices income, and that the nature of their approach has made it impossible for men to transition into these roles.

    it actively ignores the enrollment and graduation numbers in University today. However from their personal perspective, the number of men, who will be in a position to really contribute for their later life choices. When there 1.5 women graduating for every man, then well, does that not hugely restrict someones choice? Does the fact that if other women move first, (or she is seen to be nasty) not mean that she will be forced to chose between a mate of much lower status or being permanently single. Does not this very attitude, given that many men have worked to allow women into all those once exclusively male spaces mean that these men are in fact telling men, that this was a mistake? How many men, now see women, due to this, as nasty oppressive and controlling, and will cast a wide view, characterizing women as such until they individually prove otherwise?

    Basically this is the very attitude, that has created a tendency in men, to forgo long term relationships. If I am going to be the enemy, why bother. I would note to all young women, if you want a mate someday, you maybe should be concerned with the shortage of men, in Universities, and to the extent that your campus demonizing them, you may discover, their willingness to be involved with women in general hugely reduced. You can say it does not affect women, but it will in 2 huge ways.

    1- Men will push back eventually, as the discourse is totally out of control and the women most likely to claim victim status, are those who are most patently not. It is amusing that the women now most likely to be driving this are the daughters of privilege claiming to be hard done by, while soaking in their victim status in an exclusive school, that only the richest can afford. The women who will actually suffer in the push back are the very ones, that these privileged few exploit for victim status. The men who are currently suffering by being excluded from education etc, will not be interested in a sob story, and society will soon have resources only for doers, and will need every hand on deck (look at the demographics) and the generation that needs the most workers, is tossing a large chunk of them overboard, and wasting another, on learning how to complain.

    2- Eventually society will get past group identity, as it does, the fact that thousands of boys were deliberately left behind, will be one of the marker points. Their lives will not be fixed, but the loss of their productive capacity will be sorely missed, and those that engineered it will be resented. Resources will no longer be wasted on those who are taught to complain, and the status of those who currently gain power by saying in effect no man could ever be a victim, and I as the daughter of a multi-millionaire am a victim merely by virtue of my gender, will not only drop, but they will be permanently seen as pariahs, who acted to damage the whole. That they were blinded by an ideology will not matter, as there will be neither time nor energy to care. The demographics mean there will not be anything to spare, so those that regale in the destruction of productive potential, will be seen as what they are evil.

  37. PS the demographics to which I refer, is the fact that the baby boom is moving into retirement, and the echo is no larger a generation, which is a new issue for society. The dependency ratios will be higher than they ever have been, in a society today, tending to have ever more people working in roles that are administrative, not productive in nature. That is one person’s real output, will be forced to stretch to feed many more.

  38. Stop teaching this rubbish in University

    An astonishing thing has happened. Someone drafted a petition calling on governments to stop the dominance and teaching of ‘social justice’ in universities.

    Well in it’s first two days it received 20,000 signatures. It is now being promoted by the youtubers Sargon of Akkad & Vee.

    My group is also sharing this to everyone we can think of and asking you to take a look, probably sign and SHARE to others on any media you can.

    My tweets have been sent out to 20,000. I have shared on google to something like 500,000 potential readers.

    In the 6 hours that I have been on this I have seen 3,000 more signatures.

    Please share with everyone. Here is a short link to the google group where the petition is pinned.

    https://goo.gl/XsIWCm RT

  39. MattMc says

    I wholeheartedly agree with Ansgar’s comments. The concept of “feminism” should be viewed through the lens of a systemic/societal problem rather than an us vs them approach. We were all born into a system in which antiquated ideas of male/female roles hold us all back. The idea that women shouldn’t be paid the same as men, is based on the same deeplyvflawed philosophical conceit that shames men from taking “female roles” like being stay-at-home dads. Human rights are not a zero sum equation. Both militant feminists and MRA’s need to learn that women’s rights don’t subtract from male rights.

    • Beast of Jekyll Island says

      ” The idea that women shouldn’t be paid the same as men”

      Ah, the lie that wouldn’t die.

      “need to learn that women’s rights don’t subtract from male rights.”

      You need to learn what’s happening in the real world.

      You’re just regurgitating the “feminism is about equality” canard. The definition of a belief isn’t in the dictionary, it’s in the deed.

  40. Matt says

    What a surprise! Feminists lied. They don’t really care about men. And they don’t care about you either.

    Have you heard that Sweden is the rape capitol of Europe? But for some reason the feminists there aren’t saying much about it. Why is that? Because women’s safety comes after upending western society. And Germany saw what Sweden did and decided to do the same thing. Now German women are becoming unsafe while the feminists say little. Again, the goal is the complete upending of western society. This is accomplished through massive Muslim immigration.

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  42. Unix Commando says

    Anyone who attends Barnard is among the most privileged of all people on Earth, they should be forced to count their privilege.

  43. Someone was saying:
    The education system (especially higher education) caters to women. There are women’s resource centers on nearly all campuses but none to men, teaching styles are tailored to women, if a school denies women anything they are branded misogynists and bias but they can take anything away from men that they want (sports, shop and stuff like that), women can do whatever they want to get advantages even break rules and not get punished, anything directed towards men is shrinking be it clubs or funding, women have plenty of grants and scholarships just for them but if you make a men’s only advantage you are sued, women can put up whatever misandry propaganda they want and it is protected but if a man says something that makes a woman feel uncomfortable they can go to HR and get that man punished without proof, women are encouraged to go to college while men are encouraged to be stay at home dads (just look at any advertizement you see for anything related to higher education, it will be directed to woman). In short men are now walking on eggshells while women are being “empowered”.
    The number of men in colleges and universities is also decreasing.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OQCSkDmuJw

    • Thin-Skinned Masta-Beta says

      Men may not.

      If they complain too much about their situation, they’ll be mocked as less than men and forced to surrender their man card.

  44. A woman said:
    Women can be whoever she wants. Men cannot or they will be outcasts. Men have to live up to the typical male stereotype, women don’t. Women are at least 50 years ahead of men.

    A British magazine, in the 1980s already, did a survey asking people which gender would they rather be and why. The majority of men and women said women for various reasons. Some women said women in men’s bodies. The article concluded by saying that one can see which gender it is who really needs equality and liberation.

    A woman said that socially and with clothes it’s better to be a woman, but the physical is a bummer.
    Another woman said better to be a woman and easier to be a man.

    A woman fairly recently disguised herself as a man for 18 months – a long time. She said that women generally are much more privileged. She couldn’t even handle being a man.
    Another woman said that many women wouldn’t know how much better they have it in life.

    In “The Privileged Sex”, Martin van Creveld, with historical research, was saying that generally women have overall always been the more privileged gender.

    A woman who was a man said that to be a man in these times is a fate worse than death. Females have it so much better.

    Yeah, so much for feminism always playing the victim. And, women always been degraded – more like uplifted.

  45. Liam Devitt says

    I hope feminists are proud…because they have ruined my childhood by replacing men with women in the new ghost-busters movie… im not saying women in movies is bad, just replacing a male cast with dry b-grade female actors

  46. Emelio Lizardo says

    “… I’ve learned that while being a female puts me at a higher risk of facing rape and domestic violence, …”

    In fact it doesn’t. Women are more likely to initiate domestic violence. However, since women are incompetent combatants they are more likely to be injured.

    If prison rape is considered, men are overwhelmingly more likely to be raped than women. And society targets men for prison.

    Being female comes with many privileges, protections, and a few limitations. Women occupy the middle while men the extremes, in other words the glass ceiling and the glass cellar.

  47. Becca Cade says

    What a terrible, misogynistic article! Do men have some (extremely minor) issues women don’t face? Of course. Leaving aside that nearly all of them are men’s own fault anyway, these issues are a drop in the bucket compared to the massive, systemic oppression faced by women at every level. To even discuss men’s issues while women face the fear of being raped every day is like showing concern for someone with a scraped knee while a woman bleeds out next to him.

    Also, most of the male issues are men’s own fault! Their violent, self destructive “male culture” breeds nearly all of them!

    • kid3t3rnity says

      That joke’s not funny anymore. Do you have anything new?

    • Well, for starters, men are never ever told how “powerful and important they are.” That’s a uniquely female experience. When you’re a man, you are simply expected to be able to succeed on your own, because nobody will help you. There is no steady stream of articles in the media, praising men for doing ordinary things like starting a business or beating cancer. No matter the story, when women are involved, people pay a little more attention, and are more sympathetic. The conflicts and competitions that drive women to cry about hostile environments are something that men simply take for granted in their daily lives. Men do not have a government that bends over backwards to try to get us into cool jobs. Men are not given special treatment of any kind when appearing in a courtroom, or in a job interview. While you whine about being afraid every day of being raped, the plain fact is that you’ve probably never been the victim of violence, because there’s hardly a man alive who wouldn’t come charging to your aid if you needed it. Meanwhile, when you’re a man, it’s not a question of IF but WHEN you will be a victim of violence. Ever been punched in the face by a total stranger? I have…more than once. You can bet it didn’t make the papers.

      As a woman, you have absolutely no idea of the bubble of privilege you walk around in daily. No matter where you go, if you are in trouble, people will help you. Men can’t say that. No matter what you do, people will give you the benefit of the doubt. Men can’t say that either. No matter how horrible a person you are, people will absolve you of the responsibility for your actions. No man can ever say that.

      Now, let me tell you a secret. I don’t want ANY of these things for men. The fact that nobody will EVER help me with anything is one of the reasons I know that the things I’ve achieved are real. I honestly feel sorry for women, who can never be 100% sure. Understand that, if you understand nothing else…nothing you’ve ever done in your life has been as hard as it’s supposed to be, and that makes you a poorer, weaker excuse of a human being. And that’s why feminists tend to be such pitiful, broken human beings.

    • OMFG. Seriously? Simply for having a penis, I’m as bad as Hitler?? Do you nitwits even hear yourselves talk?? I guess by virtue of having a vagina, all of you feminists are as bad as Andrea Dworkin and every other feminist advocating for the destruction of all men. Because you have a vagina, you’re all no different than Aileen Wournos and every man should be wise to stay as far away from your psychotic asses as possible. That’s what you’re saying when you accuse of every man of causing all the world’s problems.

    • I had to laugh at your response Becca – this article was written about people just like you. Perhaps you should read it again, take the blinkers off 😉

  48. Thin-Skinned Masta-Beta says

    Thanks sister.

    If men are supposed to see and feel how women live, it’s nice to know that a few women will also try to see and feel how we men live.

    Most of us men are also struggling in quiet desperation to break through an impenetrable ceiling that looks anything but transparent.

  49. daddybones45 says

    A reasonable, if derivative, article but the author has a long way yet to go. You cannot begin to understand feminism without learning its history. It is a delivery tool for Communism codified by German men in the 1830s (Bebel, Marx, Engels et al) and nothing more. It’s avowed aim is to utterly destroy the base social unit of family, thus community and society, allowing the state to bloat and take unfettered, totalitarian control of the populace. You can bring about this by several methods (dividing and conquering along lines of race, class and such) but the most effective is to draw the blade between the sexes in every race and class, polarise them and pull them to pieces.

    This cannot be achieved with an outright war on women, because men are biologically deferent, servile and protective toward women; men would murder any politician who treated women en masse as they do men. We are indeed the very mirror opposite of what feminism teaches. Like all Leftist doctrines, it teaches the “big lies”, flipping reality on its head. So, if the state pushes the war on men, nobody really cares. Women do indeed suffer by proxy (and women today haven’t been this unhappy since World War 2) but it is purely feminism that is to blame and not men.

    Men commit more violence than women as a whole, but 99% of it is directed at other men and property. Half of female violence is domestic violence and about 95% of it is perpetrated or initiated by women. Genuine study relating this merely compounds received human wisdom over the millennia but most research today is non-scientific advocacy study designed to hide the ugly truth so that feminist NGOs and charities can maintain income, even at the cost of human lives.

    Men and boys are also the vast majority of rape victims. FBI reports, among others, that 80% of all rape occurs in prisons, though per-capita rates in women’s prisons are higher. Outside of prison, women actually rape men more than the reverse – though this fact is well-hidden by the same billion-dollar industries gender-reversing the facts of DV and child abuse.

    Our genes drive us males to compete against each other naturally, but not compete against women. Were this untrue, feminism would have never existed. The first women to complain (about whatever made-up drivel feminists claimed they needed to, all of which is fictional) would have never been heard from again. Instead, society and its ruling élites have bent double to allow feminism to become a poison; one that has seeped into every facet of life and forms the umbrella state ideology, although one with ever-moving goalposts, the sign of a movement based purely on lies.

    Women in the West are now the most overprivileged and irresponsible humans ever to have walked the earth, through no real fault of their own. Feminism has made taxpaying slaves of otherwise satisfied women and liberated them from just one thing: obligation. Rights without corresponding obligation are privileges.

    The female of the species is privileged biologically anyway, based on the relative sizes of male and female gametes in our historic development, and thus privileged socially. Anywhere on earth where feminists will tell you women have it bad, look harder: the menfolk have it worse or suffer the same in greater number or something different and more grim. Feminism lies about this and censors dissenting research. There’s too much money to be made to allow free speech.

    A society lives and dies by how well it maintains the civility of its females. Achieve this and the males fall into line without much input. Get it backward, as we have done, and society collapses. It’s what felled Rome and Sparta. It’s what has ruined modern Greece and what is killing our societies too.

  50. “85% of black homicide victims are male. The last time I brought this up in a conversation, a white feminist scoffed and said “well that’s their fault,” which implied that victims of gang violence somehow deserved it.”

    This becomes especially when discussing victims of police violence (as opposed to gang violence). Since most of those people belong to a privileged group (they’re men) but also to a victimized group (they’re black), focusing on one of the other during a discussion with intersectional feminists will cause that person to consider them either innocent victims that prove white privilege, or violent men that caused their own death.

    When asked how the same person can be an innocent victim and ALSO a violent man who caused his own death, your interlocutor will probably become aggressive and / or leave the conversation. At least that’s how it’s gone down every time I’ve tested it.

  51. It’s a very well written article with excellent points made, but I’m way past caring what any woman thinks about me. Men don’t typically talk about relationships and their personal lives, so the fact that MGTOW and the Red Pill movement are even known outside of these groups means there is a MASSIVE movement going on. For every guy writing about it on the internet, there are 10,000 more who agree but don’t bother to express themselves. Women have now noticed, but I’m not sure that matters. It’s too late … there’s no going back … the pendulum has swung. Women will need to be the ones to repair the breach, but I’m not sure what they could even do that would help. We’re simply not paying attention to them anymore. They are no longer part of our lives. And you know what, I’ve never been happier.

  52. Emperor Constantine says

    Men aren’t a victim class, we’re builders, explorers, poets, fathers, and lovers, we put realz before feelz, and own our shit. Many men have figured out that feminism’s goal is to minimize male sexual freedom as much as possible while maximizing female sexual freedom, the consequences of which are detailed in the essay by Toni.

  53. Good post – true feminism will only be achieved when there is real equality and open interaction between all people. As a mother of sons, I have been worrying for years about how men’s issues are dismissed (often by glib reference to male privilege). There are also issues of under-reporting of male problems – e.g. testicular cancer receives much less publicity (and education) than breast cancer, and the statistics for male rape are hidden behind a wall of under-reporting. It shouldn’t be so hard to remember that we are all human, that men and women live together, share almost all human experiences, and can be each other’s best friends and mutual supporters.

  54. Womens & Gender Studies are well overdue for revolutionary change. These courses have simply become marxist activist training courses which the higher left wing echelons employ with ease whenever a debate needs to be smothered.

    Also just to point out a few other things you missed: higher male workplace fatalities, men do all the majority of physically demanding jobs and suffer the effects later in life, men are more likely to have colour blindness, men still face circumcision occasionally leading to death, and I could go on …

  55. “The tear in the social fabric when a community loses a man to gun violence or incarceration has devastating reverberations throughout everyone else’s life.”
    I submit this is backwards. the man dies because the social fabric that binds him to the community is torn. rather, the fabric that binds the community to him. It failed to value his life.

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