Ever since the media was triggered by that smirk I realized my superpower; I can sniff out every jerk At the playground I saw a 5-year-old smiling on a slide And I knew in just one instant he is supercilious and snide This morning I saw a baby boy, smiling, fast asleep It was obvious by the curl of his lips he’s a bloody creep My special gift is boundless and it continues to grow At my daughter’s school just now I spied eight grinning shits in a row This smiling expecting mother? I have zero doubt The baby in her belly is a pretentious, imperious lout Just pout! I want to shout So he’ll be cool when he comes out Views on the news, delivered so smooth. This week’s inspired by: Truth and Disfavored Identities Click for last week’s edition. And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below.  Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.

Where some see a smirk I see an awkward kid Where some see a wise man I see a disturber of shit The question I just can’t leave alone: Where the hell were the chaperones? Views on the news, delivered so smooth. This week’s inspired by: Truth and Disfavored Identities Click for last week’s edition. And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below.  Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.

I saw an ad from Gillette Said barbecue wasn’t correct I’d wager a bet More food’s under threat And microwave popcorn is next Views on the news, delivered so smooth. This week’s inspired by: Gillette’s Progressive Politics: ‘Corinthian Leather’ for the Progressive Soul Click for last week’s edition. And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below.  Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Had a very shiny snout And many of those around him Were inclined to snuff it out Some of the other reindeer Used to pout and curse his name They wouldn’t give him credit Insisting we’re all the same Views on the news, delivered so smooth. This week’s inspired by: Every Schoolchild Should Read This Book Academics’ Mobbing of a Young Scholar Must be Denounced Click for last week’s edition. And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below. Please try for PG 13.  Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.

There once was a man who was woman MVP? She was a shoe-in With hands like the feet Of those that she beat Sporting dreams of others she did ruin Views on the news, delivered so smooth. This week’s inspired by: The New Evolution Deniers A Surfeit of Empathy and an Absence of Compassion Click for last week’s edition. And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below. Please try for PG 13.  Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.

Some insist we’re a blank slate on which we write what we want Others say we’re a Kindle book where all we can change is the font I’m not slate nor tablet I’m more hat and rabbit Views on the news, delivered so smooth. This week’s inspired by: I Am Not a Blank Page A Striking Similarity: The Revolutionary Findings of Twin Studies Click for last week’s edition. And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below. Please try for PG 13.  Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.

Sad is the author who’s written a magnum opus About the moving spirit of Christmas Lamb to the slaughter if the kin of Mary and Joseph Are disapproving; enjoy the literary shit list Views on the news, delivered so smooth. This week’s inspired by: Writing For Quillette Ended My Theater Project If That’s What It Means to Be a Writer, I Quit Click for last week’s edition. And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below. Please try for PG 13.  Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.

Man sues to reduce his age, like genders are sometimes changed, and is clearly on the right track And so I’m fighting hard to get my Starbucks card accepted as an AmEx Black Views on the news, delivered in twos. This week’s inspired by: Trans Activists’ Campaign Against ‘TERFs’ has Become an Attack on Science Schrödinger’s (Wo)Manhood Click for last week’s edition. And for more Headline Rhymes, follow along on Twitter @grahamverdon Do you have a Headline Rhyme? Take a stab in the Comments Section below. Please try for PG 13.  Sentiments are not necessarily shared by everyone at Quillette.