All posts filed under: Satire

Your Guide to Blaming Russia for Everything

There’s a secret that not many people know. It’s time you were briefed on it. Close the door and make sure you’re not being followed. Things have gone too far to keep this under wraps any longer. This is going to feel like Ivan Drago punched you in the face. This time there’s no Rocky Balboa to dance around in a boxing ring wrapped in a flag in slow-motion and save freedom. It’s just you and me. This is liberty’s last stand against the barbarian hordes of the steppes. It’s time to wake up and smell the dark-roast Kremlin coffee. I’m talking dark-roast as in a steaming cup of pitch-black, irredeemable evil splashed in your face right after you smell it. If it’s any consolation for the disturbing content to come, the following semi-information will allow you to criticize populist, white Republicans as well as Russians, so it’s an automatic win-win. Let’s start at the beginning. Remember the serpent who tempted Eve to disobey God? That serpent was actually called Vladimir Serputin and he was …